How to Become a Nobody
by Junipertree
Summary: Sora goes to the perfect school, has the perfect girlfriend and the perfect life... but sometimes he just needs to let go and become someone else. AU, Axel x Roxas, Sephiroth x Cloud, slash, het
1. Someone Tries to Hide Himself

Kingdom Hearts lends itself _sickeningly well_ to highschool AUs, so I decided to join the bandwagon and write one of my own. Of course KH is not mine – if it were, there would be a lot less Disney and a lot more mansex, and it would most likely not be rated anywhere near 'E'.

Alright, a warning ahead of time – I know the premise isn't realistic, and it's not really meant to be. This fic isn't set in the 'real world' – it's a very isolated and small-scale space with no contact from the outside world. It may initially _seem_ like a contemporary setting in your average highschool, but it's not really, and this should become more obvious with time.

The rating will fluctuate wildly, but do expect sexxors, language, drugs and alcohol, angst, the gay and the het.

And hell, what's an AU without some marginally-related song lyrics:P

**How to Become a Nobody**

**Chapter 1: Someone tries to hide himself**

_Someone tries to hide himself  
Down inside himself he prays  
Someone swears his true love  
Until the end of time  
Another runs away  
Separate or united?  
Healthy or insane?  
To be yourself is all that you can do _

_To be yourself is all that you can do_

_-Audioslave, Be Yourself_

Sora woke up out of habit five minutes before his alarm clock would start ringing and jumped out of bed, toes hitting the floor first and digging into the thick blue carpet as he padded out of his room and downstairs to have a shower. He jumped into the spray before it turned hot, jolting himself fully awake and only staying in for five minutes before toweling himself dry. Peering in the mirror, he ran his fingers through hair that stuck up in strange directions even when it was wet and contemplated shaving the short, light brown strands that stuck out in weird places on his chin. Deciding against it (you could barely see them anyway, he rationalized), he wrapped the towel around his waist and went down the stairs into the basement to fish some clean clothing out of the dryer, pulling out clean underwear, a T-shirt and a pair of loose shorts without really looking at them.

Dressed and now fully awake, he climbed back up the stairs for breakfast. His father had made bacon and eggs sunny-side up, arranging them on the plate so that they resembled a happy face. In an attempt to make it healthier, the face sported lettuce hair. Sora grimaced but knew his father would nag him if he didn't finish the greens as well.

"Good morning, Sora," his father said, bustling about the kitchen. "I'm almost done making your lunch. I even cut off the crusts for you." Sora's father was in his late forties, his mop of light blond hair mostly turned to gray topping a face that held wrinkles more from smiling than frowning. His sleeves were rolled past his elbows and an apron reading "Kiss the Chef" protected his rumpled white button-down shirt and gray slacks. He dashed between the various pots he had bubbling on the stove, a small mixing bowl with a cookbook placed on it like a lid and a pile of half-chopped veggies on a cutting board.

Sora rolled his eyes as he sat down and picked up his fork. "Morning, Dad. You know I haven't cared about that since I was twelve. You don't have to cut them off, you know."

"I wanted to do something extra special for you today." The older man dipped a ladle into one of the pots and blew on the contents before sipping it thoughtfully and and adding a seemingly random spice from one of his many unlabeled jars.

"Huh?" Sora looked up, mouth already full of egg. "What's so special about today?"

"Sora!" The teenager wasn't sure if his father was actually shocked or was just trying to act cute. "How could you forget today? It's your sweet sixteen!"

"Gawd, Dad, you're making me sound like a girl." Sora downed another dripping forkful of egg, surprised at his own forgetfulness despite himself.

Sora's father ignored his son's tone and sighed dramatically. "Ah, my little boy is growing up. Soon he'll be leaving the house! Whatever shall I do?"

"Daad," Sora whined. "Stop it." His father laughed to himself and Sora finished his breakfast and washed it down with the remains of his orange juice, grabbing his lunch bag off the counter and running up the stairs back to his room to stuff it into his backpack.

Bounding back down again, Sora plucked his helmet off the coat rack and fastened it securely on his head before waving his dad goodbye as he stepped out the side door into the garage to wheel his bike out onto the sidewalk. Throwing his leg over the saddle, he started wailing on the pedals while standing up, streaking down the flat suburban streets on the way to Kairi's house.

She waved at him as soon as she spotted him in the distance, messenger bag hanging over one shoulder as she waited with Riku just outside the white-picket fence around her house. Riku didn't wave, but Sora knew that he'd been seen as the silver-haired boy turned to watch his friend come towards them, ending with the screeching, almost-thrown-over-the-handlebars-but-not-quite stop that Sora had perfected long ago before swinging his leg over the seat and pulling his bike up onto the curb.

"Morning, Sora. Happy Birthday." Kairi held out a small, pink-and-bow-wrapped present to him. It matched her pink, zippered dress and her pink butterfly hair clips.

"Wow, thanks, Kairi!"

Sora was about to rip it open immediately when Riku put out a hand to stop him."We're late already – you can open it at break." He paused. "I got you one too but it's in my locker at school. You'll have to wait until we get there." Riku stuck his hands back into their usual position in the big pocket on his dark hoodie. Sora never understood how his friend could wear that thing all the time with heavy, baggy pants to boot – even in the middle of summer. He never looked like he was sweltering, for some strange reason.

"Aw, you're such a wet blanket." Sora whined but stopped anyway, hanging the box from his handlebars by the ribbon. He pushed his bike along as his friends walked, immediately striking up a conversation about their weird English teacher and the crazy stunt he had pulled the other day. The friendly chatter bounced from one topic to another, never letting up right until they got to school when Sora split off from his friends so he could go lock up his bike.

Sora barely made it into his first class on time, just sliding into a chair near the back of the class as the teacher started attendance. He hadn't had time to go to his locker, so his backpack rested underneath his desk and between his feet, and he held the unopened present from Kairi in his hands.

It took him a few minutes of picking at the ribbon to undo the knots and bows and slip it off onto the floor. Trying to avoid making too much noise, Sora slowly peeled away the tape and unfolded the paper to reveal a small black jewelry box. He opened it to reveal a necklace with an equally black pendant – it was almost heart-shaped, the only irregularity the three points that extended from the bottom. It was rimmed with red with a pattern of something that looked like red barbed wire criss-crossing the front and back.

There was a small note enclosed with it – it read only, _'You've got mine.'_ Sora smiled something goofy despite himself, pulling the chain from the box and fastening it around his neck. He had to turn it around backwards to look at the clasp and then pull it rightways again.

So caught up in his new accessory, Sora didn't notice that the teacher was looking expectantly at him while tapping a stick of chalk against her palm in impatience. "Uhhhh... did you just say something to me?" Sora blinked.

The teacher sighed. "Pay attention next time, Sora. Yes?" She pointed towards another student instead, one who was sitting in the front row and waving her hand in the air furiously.

Slightly embarrassed but still put in a good mood by the gift, Sora ruffled through his bag and pulled out his notebook to take some notes in earnest. Before turning his head to the page he noticed Kairi looking at him from the other side of the class. She grinned at him and he returned the smile, mouthing a _'thanks'_ in her direction.

It wasn't until lunchtime that Sora got to see Riku again and pry the promised gift from his best friend's fingers. Sora sat in the lunchroom across from Riku and Kairi, his borscht ignored in favour of the large, hastily-wrapped and suspiciously lemon-shaped package that Riku had placed on the table in front of him.

"Do I even need to unwrap this?" Sora quipped, taking ahold of an edge and ripping anyway, shortly revealing a brand-new rugby ball. "Thanks, Riku."

"Well, it's kind of my fault that your old one got so busted up, anyway," Riku muttered sheepishly. "I kind of owed it to you."

"We'll have to try it out after school." Sora grinned. Him and Riku were both on the school's rugby team and they often practiced on each other.

Riku returned his smile. "Sure."

"Sooo," Kairi leaned across the table, turning her head to look at both Sora and Riku. "What's a girl to do while the boys are off doing boy things? Are you just going to leave me behind, is that it?" The good humor present on her face took any bite out of her words as she nudged Sora's shoulder. "Come on, let's do something special for your birthday. Paint the town red."

"Well..." Sora considered. "I can't be out too long, but what have you got in mind?"

Kairi slapped herself in the forehead. "Aww, I forgot all about that! That really sucks. I was hoping we could do something fun."

Sora shook his head. "Naw, I've got a couple hours, and my dad will understand if I'm a bit late. We can still do something."

Kairi's smile returned as she leaned back in her seat, fingers drumming against the table in thought. "Well, then, we could always –"

"No." Riku interrupted before taking a large bite of his roll and chewing slowly, knowing his friends would wait and enjoying how he could annoy them. "We're not doing that."

Kairi scowled. "You don't even know what I was going to say!"

"Yes, I do," Riku smirked. "You were going to suggest that we go to the arena."

Kairi opened and shut her mouth a few times before making an indignant noise. "Well, you got lucky."

Riku rolled his eyes. "I have no desire to sit around while you ogle at Tidus' abs as he splashes around, no matter how glistening and well-defined they are."

"Tidus is so last week. Now it's all about Leon, _Leon!_" Kairi smacked her friend in the back of his head. "And I thought you guys liked sports."

"Doggy-paddling with a ball isn't a sport; it's a travesty."

"BLITZBALL. It's called BLITZBALL."

"Whatever."

Sora's amusement at his friends' squabbling was interrupted by a light tap on his shoulder. He twisted around in his seat to face an older boy who had the habit of tugging on his gelled blond spikes when he was thinking about something. "Hey, Cloud. What's up?" Sora didn't often talk to his cousin, but they weren't on bad terms or anything – he just didn't know the other boy all that well.

"I kind of wanted to ask a favour." Kairi and Riku were still wrapped up in their argument about the merits (or lack thereof) of blitzball. Sora cocked his head to one side, curious as to why Cloud would approach him about anything.

"It's – I mean, I was..." Cloud tugged more fiercely at the spike before continuing. "I was supposed to meet Tifa today, but something came up. She's busy with her club right now, so can you tell her that I'm sorry, but I'll see her on Monday?" Tifa had been Cloud's closest friend for as long as Sora could remember.

"Sure, Cloud. I'll talk to her during afternoon break. What class does she have?"

"...History. It's on the gym end of the third floor."

Sora nodded slowly. "Okay... sure, I remember. You don't have to worry about it."

Cloud looked visibly relieved as he finally let go of his hair. "Thanks, Sora," he said shortly, nodding. Sora gave Cloud a small wave as the older boy left, repeating Tifa's name a few times in his head to make sure he would remember.

"What was that about?" Kairi asked, apparently victorious in her argument with Riku and now turning her attention towards Sora.

"Oh, nothing big. Are you guys done yet?"

Riku groaned. "Apparently we are now going to the arena. There's a game on today and Kairi's going to die if she misses it."

Sora's eyes widened. "Oooh, the team's playing _them,_ huh? I bet this'll be big."

Kairi bounced up and down in her seat. "You bet it is! No way am I letting you guys miss it – although you might have to leave early, Sora... but don't worry, I'll fill you in on all the details when you get back!"

The afternoon bell put a swift halt to Kairi's enthusiasm as the three dumped their garbage and piled their trays on the stack before parting ways and going to their next classes.

When break finally rolled around, Sora went up to the third floor and began scoping out the history classroom, looking for Tifa. He caught her sitting on one of the desks near the front, caught up in animated conversation with a friend.

"– and that's why I keep _telling_you, Tifa, there's no way that they're going to lose this year, I mean, their centre is fantastic –"

"Tidus, right?"

A dismissive snort. "Tidus is so last week. But Leon, _Leon –_" the shorter girl made a fanning motion with her hand, dreamy expression on her face.

"Yuffie," Fond exasperation showed in Tifa's tone. "Ah –" she turned around. "Sora! It's been a while since we've talked. How are you?"

It was just like Tifa to be so friendly even though he barely knew her. "It's all good, Tifa. I just came in to pass on a mess on a message from Cloud. He says he won't be able to make it today."

Confusion knotted Tifa's brow. "Really? Did he say why?"

Sora shook his head. "No, he just said that something came up suddenly and he'll see you on Monday. I guess you can ask him about it then."

Tifa opened her mouth like she was going to say something before shutting it again. "Cloud, you idiot," She muttered.

"What, what?" Yuffie piped up, feeling out of the loop. Tifa shook her head and Sora just shrugged.

"I've got to get to class. I'll see you later, Tifa!" Sora left the room and dashed back down the stairs.

Class couldn't go fast enough, and when the bell finally rang Sora was the first to jump out of his seat and out the door. He caught Riku at his locker and the two of them picked up Kairi on their way out, laughing and talking all the way to the bus stop.

The arena was packed – it seemed like the entire town had come together to cram themselves into their half of the arena, and the three friends had trouble finding seats. Side-stepping through rows and narrowly avoiding feet, they managed to secure themselves a tight little corner near the back.

"I can't see anything," Kairi complained.

"We did come here at the last minute," Riku pointed out. "I bet most people here bought their tickets in advance."

Kairi sighed and contented herself with craning her neck to peer into the distant sphere, almost standing in her seat at times as she strained to see the action.

"You know what I want to know?" Sora asked after the halftime break had been called. "How do they stay so long underwater?"

"They get special training, of course!" Kairi gave him a friendly punch.

"I bet you'd like to get some 'special training' from Leon."

"Riku!" Kairi couldn't hold her anger for more than a few seconds.

Sora had to leave halfway through the second period. Riku, contrary to his previous complaints, claimed that he was actually getting into the game and wanted to stay, but Kairi left with Sora to walk him to the bus stop.

They stood together in one of those rare moments of silence between them, occasionally looking up the street to see if the bus was coming. Eventually the weight of his backpack starting straining his shoulders and Sora thunked it at his feet as he leaned against the pole of the bus stop.

"We've been together for a long time," Kairi broke the silence, but Sora didn't reply. "Even when Riku left, that time... the two of us stayed together."

"Yeah..." Sora was looking at the road. "It has been a long time, hasn't it? I never thought about it – it's just always been that way – you, me, Riku..."

"Do you want to go out?" Kairi said suddenly. "Like, I mean, as a date? Just us two?"

Sora blinked. "You mean, a _date_ date? Alone date? Like boyfriend and girlfriend date?"

"Yeah."

"...Okay then. Sure."

"Good." Sora turned around to face Kairi's lips as she kissed him for the first time.

xxxx

Sora returned home to an anxious father, the first thing out of the man's lips a question asking where he had been.

"I was down at the arena with Riku and Kairi," Sora explained. "I left early but we still ran a bit late... sorry, Dad."

His father's expression softened. "Aw, don't worry about it, Sora. It's not fair to keep you away from your friends on your birthday, after all – and I _am_ sorry that I can't spend more time with you today. If it were up to me –" He sighed, burying a hand in his already messy hair. "Well, it isn't. We have just enough time to eat dinner before you go – I'll have to pack some cake for you so you can eat it on the bus." The man hesitated. "And – I'll pack a slice for your mother, as well."

"You're way too nice, Dad." Sora began marching up the stairs to pack his bags with a few things that he would be needing over the next two weeks.

As they ate dinner, Sora's father asked him all those generic parent-questions about school, his day, and his friends as Sora belted down what he could of the monster-sized meal that Sora's father had cooked. When Sora said the two of them couldn't possibly finished it all, the older man laughed and said that he'd survive on the leftovers for the next two weeks.

Sora hit the bus again, the trip now familiar enough that he didn't bother looking out the windows. He probably could have been doing something productive, like homework, but instead he just put on his headphones and listened with his eyes half-lidded, sinking into a state of semi-consciousness for the duration of the trip.

The bus pushed through suburbia and into the outskirts of town, the houses they passed becoming more sparse as they dotted over farmland before becoming more regular again.

As if he had passed some sort of invisible line, the houses started to take on a different sort of quality. Maybe it was the color schemes that were different or maybe the houses were done in a slightly different style, but the _mood_of this new city had always struck Sora as being somehow apart from what he had been used to.

Who knew, maybe it was just all in his head.

Stretching as he began to stir from his daze, Sora noticed a glint in the window as the necklace Kairi had given him reflected off of the glass. Making a noise of annoyance, Sora reached behind his neck and undid the clasp without looking, then stuffed the accessory into the small pocket on his backpack.

The bus came to a halt at a half-empty station where bored employees and tired travelers milled about or waited in line. Pulling his bag to his shoulder, Sora stepped off and turned towards his destination – it was within walking distance, anyway.

The apartment building he sought was squeezed in between two others of nearly identical build, clean and well-kept but in general rather drab. Someone had attempted to brighten the place up by planting a small tree on the boulevard, but the little thing only made its surroundings even more boring by comparison.

Sora took the elevator up to one of the nicer apartments on the top floor and was surprised to see his mother present when he stepped in the door.

"Happy Birthday, Sora!" She blew a noisemaker as he put his pack down, making him jump a little at the sound. She held out a blue-wrapped present for him.

"Not wasting any time, huh?" Sora gave a small smile and accepted the gift, picking open the ribbon.

"I can't stay very long, I have some business and – and I'm so, _so_ sorry about that, honey, there's just no way I can get out of it –"

Sora sighed. "It's no problem, mom, I know how it is." His mother was usually out of the house or away on business. She was already wearing her suit and had her jacket draped over her arm while she pulled on her dress shoes.

"Oh yeah," Sora remembered, pulling the plastic container out of his bag. "Dad said to give you some of this." He held out the cake, icing now streaking across the top and sides of the container.

His mother paused, obviously frowning but trying to hide it. "You can – just put it in the fridge, honey, I can eat it later."

"Oh – okay then."

The breath whooshed out of him as he enveloped him in a crushing hug. "I really am sorry about this. For your birthday, at least, I wanted to be here."

"It's okay, Mom, really, I understand." Sora assured her.

"Alright then. I'll probably be back by Sunday night. I'll see you then." Kissing the top of his head, she picked up her briefcase and was out the door before Sora knew it.

Sighing again, Sora went to put the container of cake in the fridge and dragged his pack to his room and dropped it on the floor, flinging himself on the bed without taking off his shoes. He lay there for a while, contemplating just going to sleep but then rejecting the idea as a bad one.

Sora wasn't sure how long he lay there, but he was suddenly jolted awake by the phone ringing in the living room. He levered himself off the bed and went to pick up the phone.

"Hello?" He rubbed his eyes, still not fully awake.

"Roxas! It's me! You weren't about to fall asleep, now, were you?"

Sora scowled, knowing Axel wouldn't see his face but would know what was on it anyway. "No," he lied.

"Liar," Axel laughed. "Well anyway, we threw party for you –"

"– or you just wanted an excuse to party –"

"– shut up, anyway, it's down at Namine's place and everyone's already started. Get your sweet ass down here before I have to come over there and drag you down."

"Sure, sure. I'll be down in fifteen or so. Tell everyone they're not allowed to have fun until I get there."

Sora could almost see Axel grin over the phone. "Oookay, will do. I'll see you soon!" He hung up.

Dashing back to his room, Sora looked at himself in the tall mirror and frowned. Opening his dresser drawer, he pulled out a pair of jeans with and a black and white-checker T-shirt. Moving to the bathroom, he fumbled around the cabinet for his jar of hair gel, re-arranging his hair so that it stuck counter to its natural direction.

When he was satisfied, Sora picked up his black zippered jacket from the coat rack and stepped out the door of the apartment.

It was Roxas that stepped onto the street.

xxxx

The party was in full swing when Roxas arrived, people out on the lawn stumbling around laughing, trying to avoid the beer bottles that were strewn on the grass. Some were flat on their backs, staring up at the sky with dazed expressions or sitting down, giggling helplessly at the half-witted antics of the others or perhaps nothing at all.

Axel greeted him at the door with a sloppy kiss, one hand at Roxas' face as the other held a half-empty pop bottle that probably held more vodka than 7-Up. "Happy birthday, Roxas." The redhead had a goofy grin on his face, his silly expression only made worse by hair that was an even bigger disaster than Roxas'. His mostly-black clothing – a pair of frayed jeans, a ratty old beater and a jacket that probably wasn't real leather – was dotted with what Roxas would call an excessive amount of chains, zippers, and safety pins, all thrown together to resemble some sort of pseudo-goth/punk-wannabe mix that Roxas insulted to Axel's face but privately thought was just a bit badass.

"Enjoying your party yet?"

Roxas snorted. "_My_party? I don't even know half these people."

Axel waved his hand dismissively. "The point isn't how well you know them _now_, it's how much you won't care after you've downed _this!_" He handed Roxas the pop bottle.

"Ugh, I'm probably going to get your germs from this. I don't even know what you put in this – how do I know you didn't put some shit in this that's going to knock me out so you can date rape me?" Roxas took a swig, wincing at the strength as he questioned Axel.

"Aw, Rox, don't youtrust me?" Axel batted his eyes in innocence. "When have I _ever_done anything to make you doubt me?"

"Well, there was that time with the pizza, and then that time at Luxord's –"

Axel shoved Roxas and the younger boy laughed, already starting to feel lightheaded from the booze.

The two milled around for a while, Axel greeting various people and making sure that they didn't trash the place more than was absolutely necessary. When Marluxia wasn't around to keep shit under control, it usually fell into Axel's lap to take care of things – not that he did any more than he absolutely had to do to not get chewed out by Marluxia. Axel wasn't about to sit around sober at a party of his own devising – where the hell would be the fun in that?

At one point someone switched the music to a band that Axel was crazy about, and he dragged Roxas into a mass of jostling bodies to dance with him. Roxas was just drunk enough for it to be fun rather than embarrassing and just sober enough not to be falling over his own feet. The music was too loud, straining the speakers as far as they would go, and he knew his ears would be ringing for hours afterward – he kept bumping against Axel and people he didn't know but nobody cared.

Eventually they pulled out of the pack of dancers and started weaving through the crowds, Roxas in tow, Axel eventually tracking down the person he was looking for where she was passed out on the couch, apparently unaware of the couple that were making out almost on top of her.

"Hey. Namine." Axel swatted her cheek a few times, eliciting only a brief flutter of eyelids and an incomprehensible noise as a response. "Shit. She's totally out already. Marluxia's going to kill me."

Roxas peered down at Namine, examining the girl's pale features. "Well, at least she's not dead."

Axel groaned. "Trust me, if she were dead, Marluxia really _would_kill me. Then he'd resurrect me and kill me again."

"Whatever. Anyway, let's just take her upstairs. We can deal with it in the morning." Roxas grabbed her under the arms and Axel grabbed her feet, and somehow between them they managed to carry her up the stairs without dropping her or banging her head against anything. She barely weighed anything, anyway, and she didn't even stir as they swung her onto the bed in her room.

"Anyway," Axel clapped his hands. "Now that _that_ shit's done, it's time to give the birthday boy his special present."

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "You actually threw together the money to get me a present? I'm shocked."

"Hey, hey, I can get shit done when I put my mind to it!" Axel protested. He unzipped one of the pockets in his jacket and pulled out a box – smaller than his palm – that he hadn't even bothered to wrap. "Here."

Roxas accepted the box and opened it. Inside was a single white earring – it looked something like an inverted heart connected to a four-pointed star. "Um, it's cool, but... I don't have a piercing."

Axel grew a wicked grin, unpinning one of the safety pins from his jacket and pulling out a lighter. "Not yet, you don't."

"Why do I not want to let you near me with sharp objects?" Roxas poked his friend.

"Because you're smart. Wait for a sec – I'm sure there's a lemon still floating around downstairs."

When Axel came back with a lemon half he immediately pushed Roxas to sit on the floor. "No need to be nervous. I'm a professional." Axel stuck out his tongue, showing off the barbell on it while gesturing to his metal-filled ears. "Granted, this did get infected and I could barely talk for a week, but it's all good now."

"That isn't encouraging at all."

Axel yanked on Roxas' ear, eliciting a shout from the other boy before flicking the lighter on and holding it under the safety pin in his other hand, holding it for a few moments before stashing the lighter away again in his pocket. Holding the lemon behind Roxas' left lobe, he took the moment to put his lips right next to his friend's ear and whisper, "this is gonna hurt" before giving said ear a roguish lick.

"What the hell was that fo – ah ah _ow!_" Roxas whined but didn't move his his head, not really wanting to have a bigger hole in his ear.

With a bit more rather painful wriggling in his ear, Axel pushed the pin through and stuck on the backing. "There ya go."

Roxas put his hand up to his ear, wanting to touch his new earring, but Axel slapped his hand away. "You'll only make it sore. Just leave it."

"You so enjoyed that, you sadist."

"Of course." Axel grinned. "And now for part _two_ of your very special present."

"There's no way I'm going to let you pierce my tongue."

Axel feigned offense. "Now why would I do that to you? I'm going to be needing that tongue healthy and well." When Roxas shot him a suspicious glance, Axel confirmed those suspicions by pulling out a strip of condoms and a bottle of lube. "Happy Birthday, Roxas."

Roxas grinned, wrapping his arms around Axel's neck and climbing into the redhead's lap. "Fuckin' A."


	2. Placing the Blame

Firstoff, thankyou to my lovely reviewers for petting my glorious ego.

I love writing morning afters. Also, for the record, I love Raisin Bran, too.

_Italics_ are thoughts and flashbacks. I fully blame iceblitz for the, er, you'll see.

I also used this is a blatant excuse to insert two of the best FF characters EVA. Expect more spamming of Final Fantasy characters that don't actually appear in KH, but that's kind of run of the mill by now, isn't it?

This chapter is a lot of Roxas, but there will be Sora-stuff later and lots of it! All good things in time. :3

**How to Become a Nobody**

**Chapter 2: Placing the Blame**

Roxas woke up the next morning in a bathtub.

The first thing he noticed was that his face was pressed quite uncomfortably into the side of the tub and there was a crick in his back from his awkward sleeping position. He seemed to be partially wrapped in a towel – otherwise, he was naked.

The second thing he noticed was that Axel was sprawled half over him, half falling out of the tub, a fluffy white towel clutched in each of his hands. Axel was also naked.

The ache in his ass, the used condoms wantonly flung around the bathroom (a couple of them were even blown up into balloons... what the shit?!), and the bottle of lube that was half somewhere on his lower body and half spilled all over the floor combined with the leftover taste of alcohol in his mouth, leaving him with a single inescapable conclusion.

Roxas shoved Axel's shoulder, eliciting from him an inarticulate moan. "Get up, you lazy fuck."

Axel groaned again and seemed to make some sort of half-hearted effort to get up before collapsing again on the side of the bathtub. "Mnyuuuhh."

"Get up!" Roxas shoved harder and Axel was completely unbalanced, falling out of the bathtub and onto the bath mat with a dull _thunk._

"Shit." Axel said, and Roxas heard a noise that might have been the redhead rolling onto his back. "Gugh. What time is it?"

"Do I look like I'm wearing a watch?" Roxas pushed himself into a sitting position, trying and failing to ignore his pounding headache.

Axel gave him the up-down and gave him a naughty (if bleary) leer. "You don't look like you're wearing anything, honeybunch."

Axel didn't even have the energy to laugh as Roxas tried to throw a bar of soap at his face at point-blank and missed.

The previous night's activities began to trickle back into Roxas' mind as he stuck his head under the faucet in the sink, washing away some of the grossness before taking a long, cold drink. He decided he might as well take advantage of his position in the bathroom and have a shower to wash away the feeling that was halfway between sticky and crusty and somehow worse than both. Stepping into the bathtub again, he turned on the faucet and pulled the toggle that would set off the shower head.

_After about a minute and a half of groping and sucking face, Roxas suddenly remembered that Namine was still passed out on the bed. "Axel... I'm not fucking you with an unconscious girl in the room."_

"_Fuck, who cares, it's not like she's going to notice –" Axel was interrupted by an hand in his face. _

_After stumbling out into the hallway, Axel's shirt already gone and Roxas' fly undone, the pair invaded a few rooms only to find every single one contained either unconscious or _very occupied_occupants. Quickly losing patience and the mood, Axel dragged Roxas into the startlingly clean bathroom and locked the door behind them._

"_But what if someone needs to use the can?"_

"_There's one downstairs. They can pee outside, I don't care –"_

The water came out cold at first and Roxas swore, rubbing his arms and willing for it to heat up fast. By the sound of it, Axel was also taking advantage of their location and heaving his guts into the toilet.

_The tile on the bathroom floor was cold on his back and so was the lube that Axel seemed to be spilling everywhere._

"_You could at least pretend to be sober." The comment had sounded a lot funnier in Roxas' head._

The retching sounds had stopped and the toiled flushed, and now Roxas could hear water running in the sink.

"_Fuck – fuck, you're doing it wrong!" Roxas whacked Axel on the back with a fist, the other clenching the shower curtains._

"_Just shut up and take it already." Axel changed his angle and Roxas gasped, coming only moments later._

"_Christ, Roxas, that was really – fucking – pathetic –"_

The shower curtains were shoved to one side and Axel leaned over the side of the tub, dangling his arms into the spray. "Heeyyy."

"Don't throw up on me." Roxas had picked up a scrubby from the rack and was making a sort of half-hearted effort to make himself clean.

"I'm still drunk," Axel grinned, leaning his face on the edge of the tub and closing his eyes.

_After they were done, he and Axel lay on the floor, looking up at the water damage that crawled along the ceiling. Axel popped open another condom and inflated it, batting it like a volleyball over towards the door._

"_I haven't done that since like seventh grade." Roxas commented, shifting so his ass was on the bath mat. "The condom balloon, I mean."_

_Axel blew up another one and hit it a couple of times before replying. "Wanna do it again?"_

"_Okay."_

Roxas turned off the faucet and stepped past Axel to find a towel. He noticed that his jeans were thrown over the shower curtain rod and were now all wet from the knees up. "Shit." He pulled them down and wrestled them on. He was mostly sure that he hadn't been wearing underwear before. Mostly.

Nudging Axel with his toe, Roxas picked a sock out from the wastebasket and found his shirt behind the sink. "You might want to get up sometime." Axel only made a grunting noise, so Roxas just pulled the rest of his clothing on and made to leave. He paused at the door. "I'll see you later, I guess."

"Ngyaa."

Roxas was almost out the door before he remembered that he'd left his jacket in Namine's room. Cursing, he climbed back up the stairs and pushed open the girl's door to find her still on her bed, now on her side with her back facing the door.

Assuming she was asleep, Roxas was picking his jacket off the floor when she spoke.

"Tell Marluxia he can suck on his own shit." She didn't turn around, and Roxas wasn't even sure if she was awake.

Not really knowing what to say to that, Roxas left, sticking one arm into a sleeve as he closed the door behind him. He returned home to the expected empty apartment – this time he took off his jacket and shoes before going to bed.

Roxas woke up to see his alarm clock reading one PM. He went to the kitchen to drink another glass of water before flopping himself down in front of the television and flipping through channels that he didn't expect to pay attention to. He ended up watching some inane kids' show involving adults in children's clothing and clown makeup, figuring it about matched his intellectual capabilities at that moment. Inevitably his mind began to wander and he began to second-guess things that he _thought_ he had gone over enough times already.

_It's too late to back out now, anyway._

If there was one thing that Roxas – or rather, Sora, because that's what it came down to in the end – made absolutely clear to himself, it was that none of his decisions had anything whatsoever to do with his parents' divorce. He didn't think it was his fault and he wasn't feeling like his mother neglected him. His parents could both have lovers and he wouldn't give a shit. In essence, it had absolutely nothing to do with his parents. Absolutely. Nothing.

It wasn't even because his father had suggested that he start looking at universities he might want to go to and really think about what he might want to choose as a career, or because he realized that he didn't really want to do anything but he would probably end up attending some relatively prestigious school and doing something 'suitable'.

It _certainly_ didn't have anything to do with anything being seriously wrong with him or being repressed or any crazy Freudian shit like that.

No, really, it was because they had been out of Fruit Loops. That was it. They had been out of Fruit Loops on that morning that his father had been arguing with his mother on the phone, and his dad was saying _no_ he would not switch schools, this one was near to home and he had made friends there, and he could hear his mother's voice on the other line if not what she was saying.

They had been out of Fruit Loops and his father had bought Raisin Bran. Sora hated Raisin Bran. He didn't like the idea of a breakfast cereal trying to masquerade as something healthy. Just the texture of the hard raisins on soggy flakes was enough to make him spit it out – but he was eating the stuff anyway because they had been _out of fucking Fruit Loops._

And then he had gotten all pseudo-philosophical and thought about how all his life he'd been eating Raisin Bran just because it was there when what he really wanted was Fruit Loops. Maybe Fruit Loops wasn't good for him and maybe it was shit (it was totally shit. His dad made him eat an apple and whole-grain toast with it every morning to try and balance it out), but he just wanted to eat Fruit Loops and that was the end of that.

So on the first day at his new school – and he was still going to his old school, mind you, don't even ask how his parents managed to work _that_ little number out with the authorities – he had told everyone that his name was Roxas. It sounded like a cool name and it had a cool personality to go with it. Nobody cared what Roxas did or would be shocked when he cut class to smoke weed behind the school or just to stay at home and sleep. Roxas didn't have to bother studying or even do his homework half the time. Roxas didn't have to pretend to be nice to people that he couldn't fucking stand, or listen to his friends when they talked about things that he didn't care about. Roxas could do what he wanted.

It was just a few days into his new skin that Roxas had met Axel.

It was during lunchtime and Roxas had been too lazy to pack a lunch, so he was contemplating going home to eat it and then just staying there when he noticed a a trio of older students that seemed to share the theme of 'metal bits everywhere' hanging out by the smokers' pit and stealing candy from the freshmen.

Seriously, that's what they were doing – just randomly stopping kids and getting them to dish out candy, money, or anything that they found amusing. Roxas couldn't believe that people actually did that outside of TV.

Roxas stood there for a while watching as the girl of the trio (who seemed to be in charge or something) caught a particularly stubborn boy by the back of his jacket and twisted his arm until he coughed up the goods – a full bag of jellybeans, not the cheap shit from the bulk bins but those expensive ones that came with little booklets telling you about all the flavours. A blond boy who clearly enjoyed his hair gel too much waved and thanked the kid as if it had all been voluntary, as the third, a skinny redhead (who had these funny tattoos on his _face_ for some strange reason), seemed content to sit back and snicker at the antics of his friends while puffing on a cigarette that he probably wasn't supposed to be smoking on school property.

For some reason or another Roxas caught the blonde girl's eye – maybe because he was laughing, at the poor sap or the trio he didn't know – but she came over to him, pink where her friends were black but sporting just as many (if not more) studs and safety pins, toting the bag of jellybeans in one hand and asking him what was so damn funny.

Realizing that he couldn't answer that question, Roxas pointed to the huge bag of jellybeans that she had in one hand and asked, "Are you seriously going to eat all those?"

In what Roxas would later learn was typical of Larxene, she looked at the jellybeans, looked at him, and said, "No. We're going to burn them" as if she had planned it all along. "Wanna come with?"

And so that was how Roxas ended up sitting on the curb outside the school where they could technically claim that they were off school property, burning jellybeans with Larxene, Demyx, and Axel.

"This isn't as fun as peeps," Demyx – Mr. Hair Gel – commented. Axel had pulled a fork out of his pack and had speared a number of jellybeans on it, holding his lighter underneath it as they all watched the beans melt into brown.

It hadn't been until later that Axel and Roxas had become – whatever they were, something that wasn't quite friends but not quite fuckbuddies either (because didn't that require sex?) – it had just been one of those random things that seemed like a good idea when you were drunk, and oddly enough had still seemed interesting once the alcohol wore off. Roxas had been invited to one of the practically-weekly parties at Namine's place and was mostly standing around with a drink, hoping to get drunk enough that he wouldn't feel so awkward, trying to look cool instead of like just some loser who didn't really know anyone there.

And then up came Axel and the pink-haired older dude that Roxas recognized as the Marluxia they three had talked about before, and Axel had slung his arm around Roxas like they had been best friends since sixth grade, saying, "And this little number is _Roxas_," drawing out the 'S' sound like he was trying to make a point out of it. Axel was always smashed by the time Roxas showed up at any party, and no matter how much Roxas drank he never seemed to catch up. Maybe it was because of the booze, but it probably had more to do with the twisted relationship of petty insults and pissing contests that Axel and Marluxia had – but at any rate, it was then that Axel had kissed Roxas full on the mouth, breath smelling of gin and generally gross and unappealing. Roxas was too shocked to be annoyed, and the only real thing that he absorbed from that moment was Marluxia's scowl of annoyance, like he was somehow irked to see that he had to be witness to this show, and it _was _a show – but anyway, somehow later that night, squished together on a crowded couch, they had ended up macking on each other until Axel had decided that he had drunk too much and threw up on Roxas' pants.

Any sane man would have ditched the guy after that, but Roxas, masochist that he was, kept coming back, leaving him and Axel where they were today. Which was... somewhere. Somewhere where Axel would invite him to parties that were supposed to be his birthday party but in reality didn't have anything to do with him. Roxas tried not to think too much about where exactly that somewhere was.

Roxas spent the rest of the weekend at home, lying around the house and vegetating over daytime television – he may have watched a few soaps at one time, he didn't remember afterwards and certainly didn't want to admit it – and was asleep on the couch with the TV on when his mother came home from work, the woman tiptoeing in an almost exaggerated fashion so as not to wake her darling, angelic son from his cotton-candy slumbers.

Monday morning Roxas woke after slamming the snooze button three times. He sat down in the shower and spent twenty minutes letting his head sag and than jerking it up again before turning off the water and deciding that he was awake enough.

Breakfast was cold toast and eggs left on a plate. There was a note with a five-dollar bill attached to it that was supposed to be for lunch; Roxas didn't really plan on spending it on food.

School was a haze of people he didn't know and people he didn't care about. Roxas usually got the impression that most people there had stopped caring (about what, he wasn't sure) long ago and were just walking around like empty shells of themselves. Larxene's group were all older than him and so they weren't in any of his classes – sometimes he thought he recognized a face, a name – like was that dude called Hayner, or maybe it was Pence? – but at any rate nearly all of the faces were unfamiliar and Roxas had a pressing feeling of being on the outside, not being one of _them._

At lunchtime he went to where they usually met up in their corner off to the side of the smokers' pit and found that only Axel was there, leaning against the brick wall of the building and looking distracted.

"Where's Larxene?" Roxas asked. The other two were assumed to be adjunct to her.

"Practicing." Axel was smoking, as he usually was when they hung out here.

"Huh." Roxas said and stuck his hands into his jacket pockets. "Wait, what?"

"Practicing. Music. Or whatever excuse for it they churn out, anyway." Axel took another drag and blew it out away from Roxas.

"_What?_" Roxas was hearing the words but not registering the meaning.

Axel smirked, starting to glean some amusement from Roxas' confusion. "They've got some kind of band together. Haven't you seen Demyx carting around that guitar of his?"

"Well, yeah, but I just thought –" Roxas cut himself off. He wasn't sure exactly what it was that he had been thinking, which probably hadn't been anything at all.

"Yeah," Axel continued. "They kind of sound like Kurt Cobain fucking Sid Vicious in the ass – without lube – but whatever, I guess."

Axel's bizarre simile brought the weekend's activities to the forefront of Roxas' mind, and he smothered a blush. "Umm –"

"Hey," Axel interrupted him, dropping his cigarette to the ground without bothering to put it out. "There's this thing you should see. C'mon."

Axel started walking as if he expected Roxas to follow, leading the other boy around the building to a sort of lean-to shed in an out-of-the-way corner at the back of the school, walking right up to door that was half falling off its hinges.

"It's the gardener's shed, so what?" Roxas looked around the area self-consciously, the idea that they were probably somewhere they probably shouldn't be sparked off in his head.

"Yeah, yeah, but get a load of this." Axel pushed open the door and turned around, beckoning Roxas to come inside. When Roxas was in the shed, Axel reached over him and pushed the door shut. With both of them and all the garden equipment in the shed it was pretty crowded, not to mention musty and sporting more than a few cobwebs, but Axel ignored these and went down on his hands and knees, poking around the floorboards until he found what he was looking for. "Heh." Prying up one of the floorboards, he pulled out what looked like a stack of magazines. "Check this out." It was hard to see in the filtered light of the shed, but Roxas thought he saw Axel wiggle his eyebrows.

"It's a bunch of nudie mags." Roxas barely glanced at them.

"Not_just_ nudie mags," Axel grinned. "Kinky nudie mags." He flipped through some of the pages, showing Roxas a few spreads of leather-clad women with whips and various toys that Roxas couldn't begin to name subduing men, the men often tied up.. "And that's not all." He shook one of the mags and a couple of photos fell out.

Roxas picked them up off the floor and stared at them for a minute. "Shiiit, too much information!" Roxas' tone was horrified, but he just couldn't look away from the train wreck.

"Who ever thought that old man Donald had it in him?" Axel cackled. Roxas turned over the photo to see something written on the back –_Love ya, pet Daisy_.

"How did you even find this stuff?" Roxas gaped.

Axel grinned and took the magazines back, stowing them away before sitting down on what looked like an empty barrel and ruffling through his pockets. "Oh, we used to hotbox in here before Demyx got his van – fuck knows how we never got busted doing it, I think this place permanently smells like weed now. I found this once when I was here alone – never really had an opportunity to show the mags to anyone 'cause we never came back here, and I kind of forgot about it." He seemed to have found what he was looking for in his pockets and pulled out a small bag. "Aaaand, speaking of hotboxing –" He held up what was now obviously a bag of weed with a pack of rolling papers stuffed into it.

Roxas grinned and sat down on the floor. "It's not like I ever listen in English anyway."

"Who does?" Axel seemed to have mastered the art of rolling on his knee. "I'm probably not even going to class this afternoon." He put away the bag and fished out his lighter.

"What's up, going somewhere?"

Axel had the joint lit and took the first puff before passing it to Roxas. "Naw, not really. Have to babysit my sisters 'cause my mom's a stupid cunt."

The lack of vehemence in that sentence – like his mom being a cunt was just something to take for granted – really got to Roxas, but he tried to ignore it and concentrate inhaling. He no longer had to really try not to cough, but he still wasn't used to it. "You have sisters?" He passed back the joint.

"Yeah, a couple of little brats. They enjoy making my life hell."

Roxas would never know exactly why he said what he did next. Impulsive? Sure. Stupid? Hell yes. "I'll go with you."

The only sign of Axel's surprise was the joint that stopped halfway to his lips. There was a stretch of incredibly uncomfortable silence when Roxas wished wholeheartedly that he could take that stupid statement back, and then Axel broke it. "Sure. If you want, whatever."

By about halfway through lunch they were both fairly baked and giggling every time one or the other said the word, 'falafel'. They left the shack in a sort of daze, occasionally bumping off each other of tripping off the curb – only semi-deliberately.

Axel lived quite a ways away from the school – and by quite a ways it was an hour's walk – and for some reason that Roxas thought at the time had to do with being wasted but later found had to do with Axel being flat broke, they walked the whole way instead of taking the bus. After the walk they had calmed down a bit but were still not quite walking in straight lines.

It wasn't a very nice neighbourhood but it was a house, at least. Roxas stopped Axel before they reached the front door, sniffing his own sleeve and giving Axel a look. "We smell."

"Pshh." Axel brushed it off. "My mom's gonna be gone, who cares." He pushed open the door and walked in without taking his shoes off. "Heyaa!" Axel yelled, seemingly at no one – that is until two comets ran through the living room to hit him in the stomach. He didn't even make an oomphing noise as said comets attacked him, immediately tugging him, one taking each hand and pulling him towards what was looked to be their bedroom before they stopped and realized that Roxas was there.

In that moment, Roxas knew what it was to be given _The Eye_. The two girls looked very alike, the biggest difference being that one of them was blonde and the other had done home-made blue dye job on her hair – _I can't believe her mother let her do that._ They both had that cute, round look that girls of that age had, and wore matching jumpers (good God), the blonde one's in red and the blue-haired one's in yellow. The pair looked at him like he was a creature that they had never seen before. There was a moment of silence before the blue-haired one asked, "Are you Axey's boyfriend?"

Axel looked like he wanted to slap either his forehead or his sister. Roxas just stared.

The blonde girl waved her hands in an authoritarian manner. "Of course he is, can't you see that, Eiko? They're obviously a couple. I bet they have boysex all the time."

Roxas stared some more. "How – how old are you?"

"Seven!" "Eight!" They piped up in unison, the blue-haired one turning out to be younger by a year (though Roxas swore they could be twins).

Roxas waved a hand at the girls. "Are they even old enough to know what that means?"

Axel sighed, massaging his temple. "You don't even want to know. Just – no."

"Relm told me what boysex means!" Eiko declared as Axel began to tug his sisters away from Roxas.

"Good for you, pickle-warts." Axel turned to Roxas. "You can take your shoes off if you want. Just throw your stuff anywhere. He dragged his sisters out of the room and Roxas was left to take off his jacket and throw it on a basket full of shoes by the door, thunking down his backpack next to it and looking around.

The place was small, single-storied, and it was generally apparent that two little girls and a teenaged boy lived there – that is to say it was a total mess. From where he was standing he could see into the kitchen where stacks of dirty dishes were sitting in the sink and on the table, and someone had left out a carton of milk, a tomato, a slab of butter, and three potatoes. The living room was strewn with dolls, cars, pencil crayons, markers, and a few tubes of what looked like acrylic paint. The ashtray on the coffee table probably hadn't been emptied for a week and had long since spilled over onto the counter, and there were cigarette holes in the couch. CDs in and out of their cases were stacked everywhere there was a flat surface, and there were more than a few dirty socks just randomly lying around.

"Nice place you've got here." Roxas commented dryly.

"Your sarcasm is duly noted," Axel came out of the girls' room. "I know it's a dump. Mom never has the time to clean shit up, I don't really care and the girls are just thrilled to mess everything up again."

"Anyway," Axel said, walking over and flopping down onto the couch, "I'd offer you something to eat, but there really isn't anything you'd want, unless you're in the mood for Eiko's cooking."

Roxas leaned over the back of the couch, folding his arms. "Eiko's cooking? Should I ask?"

Axel snorted. "She fancies herself a master chef. You shouldn't eat it – ever. Sometimes she puts bugs in the stuff just to 'mix it up'".

Roxas gagged. "Eeew." Then he noticed something out of the corner of his eye as something – or two somethings – dashed around the corner and out of sight.

Axel didn't even turn around. "I know you brats are there."

A couple of giggles sounded behind them as the two girls emerged from around the corner, looking back and forth from Axel to Roxas.

"When are you two gonna kiss already?!" Eiko demanded.

"Honestly." Relm rolled her eyes.

"Were they born this way?" Roxas asked, now starting to become amused by their antics. Axel, however, was not.

"Ugh, defects at birth, the both of them." Axel rolled his eyes, and made to shoo them off again."

"Roxas is prettier than your _girl_friend was!" Relm dragged out the first syllable. "We like him better."

"If you aren't going to kiss him, Axey, then he can be _my_ boyfriend!" Eiko giggled.

"Girlfriend?" Roxas asked, curious.

"Oh, shut up. Get lost, you freaks of nature! Go!" Axel kicked the air behind their bottoms as they scampered off, giggling like lunatics.

"They're cute." Roxas grinned.

"You're delusional. They're totally insane." Axel rolled his eyes and flopped back down on the couch, picking up the remote and flicking on the TV. "What do you wanna do? Options are kind of limited 'cause we can't leave the house, but we could... I don't know, play cards or something."

"Like go fish?"

"Like strip poker." Roxas wasn't quite sure if Axel was joking or not.

Jokes about risque card games aside, they ended up playing Hungry Hungry Hippos on the living room floor.

"Take_that_, bitch!" Axel's hippos ate all the marbles again and Roxas groaned.

"You're fucking rigging it. The board's tilted," Roxas complained. "There's no way you can win that many times in a row."

"It's talent, sugarbuns, pure talent." Axel grinned, leaning back and stretching his arms.

"Don't call me sugarbuns," Roxas said, realizing immediately after it came out of his mouth how juvenile he sounded.

"Sure, babycakes." Axel can't have been surprised at all when Roxas picked up the board and threw it at his face.

It was then that Axel got up, suddenly awkward, and said, "You should probably go. My mom's gonna be back soon."

"Oh... okay then." Roxas had gotten up because Axel had gotten up and he stood there, fidgeting because the balloon had popped and somehow it was different now. "I guess... I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah." Axel nodded, obviously trying to find something to do with his hands, at a loss without his cigarettes.

Roxas picked up his stuff at the door and shoved on his shoes without unlacing them, kind of caught in the doorway and feeling like he should be saying something. "Bye then."

"Bye."

The door shut behind him and it was all very abrupt, Roxas left stranded on the street and not really understanding how he had gotten there.

The entire thing – whatever it was – had been so painfully mundane, so not _Roxas,_ but at the same time, it had been...

Fun.


	3. Suburban Perfection

Sorry about the wait on this one. You know when you're supposed to read a book and a play and an essay and then you leave it all until the last few days – the same few days when you have Japanese midterms?

...Maybe I'm the only one who does that. Anyway, I'm going to try and update this weekly-ish from here on out.

**How to Become a Nobody**

**Chapter 3: Suburban Perfection**

The rest of the week passed fairly quietly, and the mental significance that Roxas had briefly attached to his day with Axel dissipated as he realized that nothing had really changed and Axel was still just this dude he hung out with at school and occasionally groped. He was cool with that.

Roxas _did _get to hear Larxene's band play on Thursday – they played for a very reluctant audience of two. Demyx was a strangely competent guitar player and Larxene's half-screaming might have had an appeal to a certain crowd – when she actually hit the notes – but nothing really excused Marluxia's drumming, and it was becoming painfully apparent that he was just there to fill up the slot while quite possibly trying to fill the _other _slot in Larxene's pants.

When Roxas said so he was immediately met with a tirade of scathing remarks from Larxene, insulting his taste in music, his attitude, and his hair. She stopped for a breath and everyone waited before she admitted, "Okay, yeah, he kinda does suck. But only just a little."

Marluxia looked only marginally offended before offering Roxas the drumsticks and commanding him to do better.

Roxas declined and Axel made a lewd comment about drumsticks that got a cheap laugh out of everyone and that was the end of that.

That night Roxas was opening the fridge to look for a snack and found that the cake from nearly a week ago was still there. He opened the container and looked at it, sniffing it once or twice before deciding not to risk it and throwing the thing along with the container in the garbage.

Friday night Roxas took the busride like he did every week, zoning out almost entirely. He never really noticed the other people on the bus – it was usually empty, and it wasn't rare for Roxas to be the only one on it, curled up on the back seat with his headphones. He remembered to take out the earring, fingering the hole a bit and hoping nobody would notice it. He then took out the necklace Kairi had given him from the backpack pocket it had been sitting in all week and snapped it around his neck again.

His father was making a late dinner when he returned. "I don't know if you already ate, but if you're not hungry I can put this away." It was casserole, and Roxas – no, now it was Sora – Sora always had room for food.

"Sounds good, Dad, thanks." Sora took his seat at the table and immediately dug in, piling the cheesy pasta onto his plate and also helping himself to a generous portion of steamed vegetables.

"So, Sora," his father always hesitated before mentioning the ex – "How did your time with your mother go? Did you do anything special for your birthday?"

"Ah, it was nice," Sora said. "She got me a new pair of sneakers. Brand-name stuff, really cool." He didn't mention that they didn't fit properly and he had thrown them into the donation bin at school.

"That's good." His father obviously didn't want to talk about it but still felt like he was obligated to as a parent. "Anyway, your friend Kairi called for you while you were gone. She said to call when you got back."

"Ah!" Sora remembered. "Thanks for telling me. I guess we're kind of like, um, going out now."

His father smiled. "That's great, Sora. You two have been so close for years, and she's pretty cute, huh? Huh?" He winked at his son.

"Daad." Sora rolled his eyes. "It's not anything epic. We'll probably just go to movies and make out in the hallways and stuff."

"My little boy is all grown up," the man dabbed away an invisible tear with his napkin. "Soon he'll be out of the house and I'll be left all alone, ah, whatever shall I do?"

"Get a real job?" Sora joked.

His father shook his head, laughing. "Say that once my new book's finished. I guarantee you'll be blown away." Sora's father's first book had been a smash hit, and it was already licensed to be made into a film. He had spent the past few years trying to come up with something that could match his initial success and typically failing – his writing room was filled with piles of half-finished manuscripts that the man refused to let see the light of day, claiming that they were all fatally flawed in some way.

"So you've got a good idea this time?" Sora asked.

The older man nodded. "Yep, and this one's perfect. There's this something that has been at the back of my head for the past few weeks, and late last Friday it just_clicked_ and I stayed up all night writing up notes and starting the first draft. It seems so odd that it would come now, but maybe having your mother around was... well," He slapped his palms against the table, cutting off the train of thought, "That's neither here nor there. I think it's your turn to do dishes, if you're done."

Sora nodded and swallowed the last noodle before gathering up the plates and stacking them up beside the sink. He squirted some dish soap into the sink before running the water in almost as hot as it would go. His mother had a dishwasher in her apartment, but his father said it promoted laziness and did it all by hand.

As Sora did the dishes his mind turned to his new girlfriend. He and Kairi had been basically best friends since kindergarten, and she had been a point of stability in his life ever since he could remember. She was smart, funny, and very cute... Sora wouldn't say it 'cause he didn't want to sound all weird, but he could easily see himself with her five, ten years down the road, married with the white picket fence and all that. He really couldn't imagine what a future would be like without her there, dragging him to Blitz games, sharing her lunch with him every time he forgot it and telling him off whenever he was being a jerk and should be patching things up with Riku.

As soon has he was done and his hands were dry, Sora raced to the phone upstairs in his room to give her a call.

Kairi's father picked up the phone first. Both her and her parents always answered the phone with that oddly formal, "Hello, such-and-such residence" greeting. Sora liked to poke fun at Kairi for it.

"Hey, Sora!" Kairi's voice was warm and friendly over the phone. "I guess you just got back."

"Yeah, we just finished dinner. So how's it going with you?"

"Great, thanks for asking – but there were a couple things I wanted to talk to you about, and I think you're going to be really excited." Her voice was bubbly with suppressed glee.

"What, what is it?" Sora reclined on his bed, resting one foot on his knee and reaching up to set one hand behind his head.

"First things first – pool party, my house, 3:00 tomorrow. You didn't get real party before, so I wanted to make it up to you. I've invited pretty much everybody, and it's going to be loads of fun."

"Wow, awesome thanks, Kairi! You so didn't have to do that." Sora beamed.

"It was the least I could do." Kairi's tone was firm. "Anyway, moving on to the main event - guess what's happening at school?"

"How could it be more exciting than a pool party? Sora asked, switching the phone to his opposite ear and putting his other hand behind his head as well.

"It just is. Trust me, you're going to be pretty stoked."

Sora rolled his eyes. "Just tell me already!"

A talent show!" Kairi gushed.

"...that's it?"

"That's IT?! What are you talking about, it's going to be the greatest event of the year – because participation from everyone – and by everyone I mean _everyone – _is_mandatory!_" Kairi started giggling uncontrollably.

Sora blanched. "You're kidding me. There's no way they'd make us do something like that."

Kairi managed to stop giggling for a minute to continue. "They would, they would! Oh, can you imagine? Some of the acts are going to be so, _so_ bad. It's going to be hilarious."

"...You do realize this means that _we're_ going to have to put on an act, too." Sora was afraid he knew how Kairi would answer.

"I know, and I've already got something planned. Sora... how do you feel about... short, poofy pants and codpieces?"

xxx

Kairi's parents did not 'keep up with the Joneses'. Kairi's parents_ were _the Joneses, and they had their neighbours turn green with envy by showcasing their pool in front of their house instead of sticking it in the back where there might be more privacy. The yard was expansive and just screamed 'I have more money than both you and your fairly wealthy cousin' – instead of gnomes they had statuettes and the entire thing was immaculately groomed so as to look almost eerie in its symmetry. A white-picket fence was thrown around the whole thing in a token effort to claim privacy, but they knew and the neighbours knew that it was all for show. Right now, though, the yard was bursting at the seams with chattering teenagers, all of them ready to get garbage on the lawn and throw their clothing over tree branches.

The party was just as fabulous as Kairi had claimed, if not more. The pool was packed with everyone that Sora was even remotely familiar with at school, and everyone seemed to have brought their friends as well. Kids were in the pool, chatting on the deck, stuffing themselves silly with all the food – popcorn, hot dog buns, hamburger patties, whatever – and a few more were taking advantage of the jacuzzi (in an appropriate, bathing-suit-clad, parentally-supervised fashion, of course).

The first thing that Sora did once he was in his swimming trunks was take a flying leap off the edge and clear the area with a cannonball, splashing everyone in the vicinity. "Awesome pool, Kairi!"

The girl in question was sitting on the side of the pool with a group of girlfriends, all of them now thoroughly soaked. Kairi beamed while Paine shot a death glare at Sora. Rikku giggled and figured she might as well follow, doing a cannonball of her own and soaking her friends yet again. "Yeah, your pool rips!"

Yuna slipped in more sedately. "Anyway, as I was saying," she picked up where the original splash had cut her off, "That's why Rosa should dump him already. He's just not good for her."

This was why Sora had interrupted them in the first place. The inseparable trio were the biggest gossips in the school and they fueled the rumormill with (mostly true) stories daily. They seemed to feel like it was their civic duty to push their noses into everyone else's business and solve the relationship issues of others.

Rikku swam over to the edge again and poked Yuna with her elbow. "Aw, but that Kain is pretty cute, don'cha think? I _know_ you like blondes."

"Don't even bother," Paine said dryly, fiddling with her hair and trying to get to stand on end like she usually had it. "She's all over Tidus right now." She gave up and let the wet strands flop on her forehead.

Yuna put her arm up on the side of the pool and smiled, eyes glazing over. "Oh, no, Tidus is so last week. Now it's all about Leon, _Leon_."

Sora quickly bored of listening to the girls debate the aesthetic merits of Blizters and paddled over to the other end of the pool where he saw Cloud standing not too far away, fully dressed and looking out of place.

"Hey, what's up?" Cloud started a little when Sora greeted him from where he was floating at the edge of the pool. "Forgot your trunks or something?"

"No. I can't stay. There's somewhere I have to be." Cloud looked a bit nervous, and kept looking around as if he were trying to find someone – or avoid them.

"Aw, that stinks. Oh well, I guess I'll see you on Monday, then."

Cloud pulled at his long sleeves and then his hair. "Yeah."

There was a moment of rather awkward silence and Sora got the idea that his cousin wanted the conversation to be over. With a mental shrug he was about to paddle off to find Riku (he had been attacking the guacamole last Sora saw him) when a sleek, silver and _very_ expensive-looking car pulled up by the front road, not pulling into the driveway but rather idling just outside the gate.

Cloud jumped as if he had been shot and jogged to the gate, carelessly leaving it open as he went out to the car.

The passenger's side window in the back rolled down and Sora couldn't quite see who was in it, but that person seemed to be saying something to Cloud. A hand reached out and gave the boy's cheek something that could only be described as a caress before the door opened and Cloud got into the car, leaving Sora with only confusion and a good deal of curiosity as the gorgeous machine drove away.

It was then that Tifa, in a moment of incredibly poor timing, approached Sora with a hot dog in her hand and asked if he had seen Cloud.

"Actually, he just left." Sora pushed himself out of the pool as he spoke. "This really swanky car drove up and he got in and left. It was _really_ swanky."

Tifa seemed a bit upset bit this news, and she bit into her hot dog with a foul expression on her face. "Not again..."

"Again?" Sora's interest was quite piqued by this point.

"Never mind." Tifa said, stalking off with the rest of her hot dog and leaving Sora deeply unsatisfied.

Figuring he would get something out of her later, Sora wandered over to the barbecue where Riku was having another hamburger. After a thought Sora grabbed one for himself and they both ended up sitting on lawn chairs by the pool, dripping mayonnaise on their bare stomachs.

"Man, the weirdest thing just happened," Sora told his friend the story. "I wonder what Cloud's up to. He seemed really on edge or something." He waved his hamburger for emphasis and didn't even notice when a slice of tomato flew out to hit the wet concrete.

"No offense, man, but I think your cousin's kind of a jerk." Riku commented, taking a bite of his burger and eating while he spoke. "The last time I tried to talk to him – I can't even remember what it was about – he just gave me this look and walked in the other direction. He's always blowing people off for no reason. I mean seriously, what's his problem?"

"His problem?" Sora was rather taken aback. "I so don't know what you mean. He's just kind of quiet, that's all."

Riku didn't look convinced, but let it go anyway. "Well, he's your cousin, I guess. You probably know him better than I do."

Sora wasn't sure if he wanted to be offended or just confused. Cloud was – well, Cloud was unique.

Sora didn't remember when he had first met his older cousin – probably when he was very young at some family-related thing – but he knew that Cloud had always been rather reserved. He had changed a lot, though, after his older brother Zack had died. Sora only knew the vaguest details of the story from his father, but he knew that Zack and his girlfriend Aeris had been together with Cloud in some kind of traffic accident – Cloud had survived, but the other two had not. Sora couldn't imagine that his cousin could have taken it well – Cloud and his brother had been very close – but the blond had never mentioned a word of it to Sora. Sora assumed that Tifa knew more than he did, but sometimes he wondered if perhaps they were all in the dark about exactly what was going on inside of Cloud's head.

In the end, though, Cloud's business was Cloud's business, and Sora wasn't one of Yuna's gang – he wasn't about to stick his nose in if Cloud didn't ask for it.

It was just then that Kairi, Yuna and company approached them, having just migrated from the food table with various snacks in their hands.

"We're trying to get a game of twister going," said Kairi. "You guys up for it?"

"Twister with girls in in bikinis? Would any sane man say no?" Riku smirked.

Sora rolled his eyes. "Sure, I'm game."

The game was fun – Sora wouldn't deny that – but how the girls could keep up their chatter while maintaining contorted positions he would never understand. He _did_, however, hear a little piece of information that was a cut above the usual 'who's dating who' nonsense.

"Did you hear the president of the Shinra Bank died?" They were just starting a round. Paine had one foot on the mat, Sora, Rikku and Kairi all squeezing in while Yuna spun and Riku waited for the next round.

"Yeah, yeah, I saw it in the newspaper. They were all hedgey about how it happened, though." Yuna called a colour and Rikku stepped on her second circle.

"Word has it that it wasn't accidental." Paine's hand went down and crossed over Rikku's leg. "They're trying to keep it all hush-hush because there isn't enough evidence."

"No way!" Rikku protested. She stuck her other hand out and nearly shoved over Sora while trying to hit her dot. "How did you even find out stuff like that?"

"Friends of friends. My sister used to work there. But that's not even the big thing – you know Shinra's son, Rufus?" Paine stretched her leg back behind Kairi, who was all bunched up on the edge.

"Of course. Beautiful but a total asshole." Rikku craned backwards to strain her arm over Paine's hand.

"Yeah, you know him. Well, apparently he's not getting daddy dearest's bank like he expected. Someone else – someone with a lot of cash to burn – bought out the whole operation."

Yuna spun the wheel, pensive. "That's almost unbelievable – it sounds like a movie."

Rikku finally toppled over, bringing Sora down with her.

Kairi teetered in her corner but managed to keep in the game. "I wonder who it is."

"All the shares were bought under the name of the 'Jenova Foundation'." Paine switched a spot for her right hand, but it was too much for Kairi and she fumbled to fall on her butt, leaving Paine victorious.

"What in the hell is that? I've never heard anything like it." Rikku jumped up from where she had been sitting on the side, ready to play another round.

"Now _that_, I don't know – but rumor says he's not from here, or from there either." Paine finished, and they started another round.

xxx

Cloud didn't need someone to tell him that he was in over his head. Right from the very beginning he'd felt a bit uneasy about Sephiroth – well, everyone felt a bit uneasy about Sephiroth. There was something almost predatory about him, the way he stared at you like you were a hunk of meat. ...Or maybe he just stared at Cloud that way.

Cloud had a part-time job at one of those warehouse supermarkets that sold everything in bulk cases. He stocked shelves because it was a job that didn't require him to talk to anybody or do anything more complicated than a little heavy lifting, and it created a certain zone that gave him time to think. Occasionally a customer would approach him and ask him where to find such-and-such an item, and most of the time all Cloud needed to do was point and say three or four words.

It wasn't very often that someone asked for more than just directions, but Cloud would have remembered Sephiroth even if he hadn't been such a demanding customer. The man was unusual-looking, to be sure – he looked almost foreign with his angular nose and tilted eyes – and his long hair was even more striking, the strange silver color giving him a sense of agelessness even though Cloud would later discover that Sephiroth was only in his early twenties.

Sephiroth had approached Cloud, looking for a particular item, a certain brand. Cloud had to go back and forth from the storage in back a number of times before Sephiroth was satisfied, and even then the man demanded that Cloud carry it personally to the van Sephiroth had parked just outside the store, all the while watching him with that impenetrable gaze of his.

If it had been anyone else, Cloud would have been irritated by their manner, but somehow the arrogance seemed such a part of the man that even after that one meeting Cloud couldn't picture Sephiroth without it.

Cloud didn't see Sephiroth in the store after that. It wasn't until a couple of weeks later that Cloud ran into him again, this time purely by chance.

For a while now, Cloud had taken to taking long, solitary walks, sometimes for hours if he had the spare time, often at strange hours of the day or night. Sometimes he would stay in town, but on his longer forays he would find himself passing out of town onto the sides of tree-lined highways and even further out into grassy farmlands with scattered houses and the odd gas station.

It was on one of these walks that he saw Sephiroth the second time. Cloud had been unable to sleep, and in a fit unusual even for him had walked out after midnight, spending the wee hours of the morning trudging along the barren sides of the highway. At around three-thirty it had started to rain and Cloud had not been prepared at all. Tired and soaking wet without a rain jacket, Cloud started walking back home, his thumb held out as he walked in the one in a million chance that someone would give him a ride at this hour.

Someone else might have questioned the wisdom of hitchhiking at four in the morning, but Cloud couldn't work up the energy to care. So when the an old beater of a puke-green car pulled up and opened the passenger-side door for him, Cloud didn't look twice at the driver when he sat down.

It was less of a shock to see Sephiroth again, and more of a shock to see him in such a trashy car. Sephiroth was dressed in a wet but expensive-looking suit, his hair stuck to his forehead and tangled in a mess down his back. His hands were white on the steering wheel, and he looked at Cloud only out of the corners of his eyes, barely moving his head.

Cloud would have been more than happy to spend the ride in silence, but after about ten minutes Sephiroth spoke. "I remember you now. You were the stockboy at the superstore."

"Yeah." Cloud shivered. The car didn't have any heating, and now that he was no longer moving he felt the cold even more sharply. Cloud could see that Sephiroth was shivering as well and trying to suppress it by tensing up everywhere. The man's jaws were clenched so hard that the tendons were beginning to show as he stared straight ahead at the rain that was attacking the windshield in torrents.

They rode in silence for a while longer before they hit something in the road and the entire car lurched before there was a sharp _bang_ and the car spun around and into the ditch. Sephiroth slammed the breaks and they were lucky that neither of them were hurt.

Some asshole had put a nailed board in the middle of the road for a lark and the front tire was out. Sephiroth didn't even curse like anyone else might have in that situation. He got out of the car, stood in the rain for a while looking at the tire and then got back in and sat down in the driver's seat again, leaning back and closing his eyes. "It's flat."

Cloud dared a glance at the older man. "Do you have a spare in the trunk –"

"No!" Sephiroth snapped, and his hands flashed forward to clench the wheel again as if trying to keep himself in control. Then he let go and his hands fell to his lap again. He lapsed into silence for a while.

"Do you want to know what I have in the trunk?" Sephiroth said. Cloud didn't answer. "I know you want to ask." Cloud didn't.

"There's a body in the trunk," said Sephiroth, and for the first time all night Cloud started to get scared. "Obviously, I killed him." He leaned his forehead against the steering wheel. "It was beautiful, the whole thing. Almost poetic. An unheard scream. A wasted breath. Darkness seeping into the body to devour source of the light, the cold rain extinguishing the flame of life." Sephiroth shuddered and turned to the driver's side window, pressing his cheek against the glass. "Of course, now that I've told you this, I should probably kill you."

The sensible thing to do then, the thing anyone in their right mind would have done, would be to open the door and start running. For some reason, even though he was absolutely terrified, Cloud didn't do that. What came out of his mouth next was devoid of all reason, all logic, and he wanted to blame all of it on the cold and the rain and the fact that it was almost five and he hadn't slept.

"If I told you something that I'd never told anybody else, then we'd be even, right?" Cloud looked straight at the man in the driver's seat and was surprised to see Sephiroth look back at him, eyes metallic and hard and painful to look at, soaked from head to toe and looking for all the world like he was drowning.

"Tell me."

xxx

The party railed on for most of the day. People came and left, and most of the crowd trickled out sometime after dinner when a whole group decided to go see a movie down at the theatre. Eventually only Sora, Riku, and Kairi were left, cleaning up the pool area and occasionally munching on some of the leftovers. Once the cleaning was done, Riku bowed out, claiming homework, leaving Sora and Kairi alone in the dying light, dressed in swimsuits and shirts with their legs dangling in the pool.

Eventually the conversation they both knew was just happening to fill up space petered out and they ended up making out.

Kissing Kairi was very different from kissing Axel. With Axel it was all fast, all tongue, usually involved alcohol and charged with the buzz of knowing that it would most likely lead to sex. Kairi was more cautious, tentative almost, as if testing unfamiliar waters. Axel's hands were almost always somewhere on his ass or his crotch, but Kairi had one hand resting in his hair and the other on his shoulder, not gripping him like her life depended on it but only touching, holding.

It was... nice. It was almost like a movie when Kairi moved forward to lean against him and they both lost their balance and fell into the pool, laughing, and Sora said so. "... like a movie, so crazy perfect."

At that something in Kairi's expression darkened and she pulled herself out of the pool, wet T-shirt clinging to her frame. "Perfect, huh?"

"Well, not _absolutely_ perfect, but about as good as it gets, yeah. I mean, the moonlit night, the shining water, so romantic!" Sora joked, levering himself onto the pool edge as well, his grin fading as he looked at Kairi's expression.

"This, all of this," Kairi motioned vaguely. "This upper-class, cookie-cutter lifestyle where everything is planned out for you, set out so you don't even have to try at all – this is perfect?"

Sora wasn't sure what she was getting at. "I think... we're not thinking about the same things."

"Probably not." Kairi sighed, and stood up. "Let's go inside. I'm getting cold."

xxx

What Kairi said that night might have stuck in Sora's mind if not for what happened the next Monday. First of all, Cloud didn't show up for school. Tifa was somewhere between angry, distraught and upset, and she interrogated everyone who might have known anything as to Cloud's whereabouts. And then there was the scene with Kain.

Sora hadn't been there – he had been practicing for the talent show with Kairi and Riku in an empty classroom at lunchtime – but everybody had been talking about it and he'd heard so many details that he almost felt like he had actually seen everything.

It was one of the few times that Yuna was part of the rumor as opposed to just being the one to spread it around. It had started partially as a result of one of the _other_ rumors had been going around, and Kain had been the victim of it.

Of course, most everybody knew that nothing was _really _going on with Rosa and Cecil, it was just far too much fun to speculate, and everybody loved love triangles. The problem was that Kain didn't know this, and when, after Rosa had backed out of a date saying she had to study, the latest version of the rumor claimed she was with Cecil at the time, Kain had confronted Cecil about it. Normally Kain wouldn't have flown off the handle like he did – he was usually incredibly reserved and almost painfully polite – but real spark in the tinder was that Cecil wouldn't say where he had been, telling Kain that his word should just be enough for his friend to trust him.

Cue Kain telling Cecil that they were not, in fact, friends, and then Kain poured a carton of milk over Cecil's head.

After that all the rumors seemed to conflict. Some said that Rosa had tried to stop Kain and other said that she had left the lunchroom in disgust. Others were saying that he'd sworn at her or slapped her, and then that was the reason why Yuna had felt the need to butt in and tell Kain exactly what she had been telling her friends for the last week – which was, at the end of the day, that Rosa was too good for him and that he didn't deserve her. Sora didn't believe anything he heard from there on because he knew for a fact that Kain wouldn't hit a girl if she begged him to do it.

At any rate, usually Sora wouldn't have paid any more than a passing sort of attention to the gossip that circulated the school on a daily basis, but it just so happened that the next day he ended up in detention with Kain after school. (As for why Sora had been in detention, well, he'd been caught on the roof one too many times. It wasn't his fault that it was so easy to get up there.)

Sora had known Kain for a number years – they were both on the rugby team, for one. Kain was the kind of kid who had always been picked last in elementary school because everyone thought he was stuck up, but he had earned a sort of grudging respect from his classmates for his athletic skill, and it wouldn't be a push to say that he was one of the best on the team. He certainly took the game more seriously than any of the other kids, who basically just wanted an excuse to beat each other up half the time (Sora included).

It was Kain's innate seriousness, right to the point where Sora though he must have something stuck up his ass, that made it so strange to be sitting next to him in detention. Kain _never_ got detention.

They obviously weren't supposed to be talking to each other, but when the teacher left the room to get some paper or another Sora made a few attempts to crack a smile out of Kain and repeatedly failed. In fact, Sora only managed to squeeze a handful of words out of the taciturn blond, but those words were enough to send him into a completely irrational momentary panic.

"Can you please be quiet? We're in detention. You're worse than Demyx." Kain crossed his arms and looked away from Sora in disgust.

Sora's froze. He wasn't supposed to hear a name like _that_, not_ here._ What – what the – He forced himself to calm down. Relax. This changed nothing. "Who's Demyx?" Sora asked.

"Haven't you ever met my brother?" Kain seemed mildly surprised.

_Yes._ "No, I don't think you've ever mentioned him."

Sora prayed that he was just being paranoid.


	4. Anagrams for the Invisible

If it wasn't obvious enough in the last chapter, y'all are going to be getting an unhealthy dosage of Sephy/Cloud as the secondary pairing (because I am a sick, sick little girl. :D).

I'm also currently flipping out about the coming release of FFIV on DS. Just – eeek! So pretty! XD

**How to Become a Nobody**

**Chapter 4: Anagrams for the Invisible**

Because of the detention, Sora missed rugby practice. By the time he and Kain were finally let out, all the others had already gone home, including Riku. It was kind of a bummer, but Sora would have let it slide. Kain hated missing practices, however, and requested that Sora spend some time practicing with him so he wouldn't get out of shape.

Kain wasn't the most talkative person ever, but Sora did try, asking him a bit about his brother.

"I don't have much to say about him. We never got along. He lives with my uncle Cid." Kain wound up and drop-kicked the ball further than Sora had ever been able to, falling just short of the goalposts. Sora figured it wouldn't be prudent to ask any further, so he let it drop.

After about half an hour's worth of running around tackling each other, Sora noticed Rosa standing at the far end of the field. Kain tensed up, but didn't approach her.

Rosa took the initiative and approached Kain, asking him to walk home with her. "It's late," she said.

Kain spun the ball in his hands a few times, frowning at the ground. "Not this time. I'm sorry."

"This isn't about yesterday, is it?" Rosa reached out a hand to nudge him playfully, but Kain flinched away from it.

Sora felt like he was intruding on something and wanted to back away quietly, but Kain still had his ball. "Um, ah..." He scratched the back of his head. "I guess I'll be going now."

Kain looked at the ball in his hands as if he hadn't noticed it there before and tossed it to Sora, who booted it out of there before the situation could get any more awkward.

It was with a certain measure of relief that Sora left for his mother's apartment that Friday. He didn't like being involved in all the classroom drama. Roxas was so far removed from the social loop (or at least, the regular one) that none of those things really mattered to him.

While Roxas still hung out with Larxene's gang practically every day at school, he found that more and more often he was spending time with just Axel – usually when Larxene and company were off practicing. Typically they'd just sit in the shed out at the back of the school (sometimes with a joint in hand and sometimes not), and it became a sort of casual meeting place for the two of them. Neither said anything about it, but Roxas knew that if there was nothing going on and he showed up at the shed, Axel would either show up as well or be there already.

Sometimes, though, Axel would get an idea in that crazy red-mess head of his and the two of them would go off on an adventure. One of Axel's favourite hobbies was changing the signs at the movie theatre – both of them would stand outside for sometimes up to an hour and look up at the sign, trying to come up with something retarded to change the letters to. Then they'd come back later that night and stand on top of stairs, climb onto the railing and then onto the roof. Usually the sign would be changed back in the morning, but sometimes the employees would get lazy and it would stay there for days.

"Hey!" It was another one of those movie-sign anagram days after school, but this time something was different as Roxas pointed at the sign. "That's the new movie that's based off my dad's book!"

Axel made an acknowledging noise around the unlit cigarette in his mouth. "That's a pretty gay title."

"Yeah, kind of." Roxas tilted his head, running a list of dirty words through his head and checking to see if any of them fit.

"Also, if you take the letters out of 'Thurs. night', too, you can make it spell 'nobody will have sex with me.'" Axel sucked on the cigarette is if pondering whether to actually smoke it or not.

Roxas snickered. "Awesome. You have to do that one tonight." He scowled at Axel, who still hadn't lit the goddamned cigarette. "Are you going to light that or what?"

Axel looked a bit surprised. "You want me to smoke?"

Roxas wasn't quite sure what to say. "Well, no, I guess. It makes you taste like shit." _Even if you do look badass when you're doing it,_ he added mentally.

Axel dropped the unlit cigarette on the ground and squished it with his foot. "As the master commands," he grinned.

xxx

That week the two of them pulled a few stunts that were above and beyond the usual fare, the most notable of which included opening a bunch of bottles in the grocery store and getting both each other and the display of canned tomatoes covered with chocolate sauce and mustard. The employee who caught them had the fury in his eyes of a man who knew he'd be the one to clean everything up. The two of them had run out of the store and down a few blocks before panting and laughing behind a dumpster and agreeing that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to go into that particular store for a while.

Axel darted forward and licked some of the chocolate sauce off Roxas' cheek before making a face because he'd gotten a taste of mustard.

"Freak." Roxas wiped his mucky hands off on his clothes. "That was so retarded. We don't even have the excuse of being high."

Axel looked positively giddy. "I don't need to be when I'm with you, man."

Roxas suddenly felt awkward, and waffled between a baffled silence and snarking back, _what are you talking about, we get high together all the time._ He settled for shoving Axel lightly. "Let's just go to your place. I feel really gross, and I totally hate the smell of mustard."

xxx

Roxas quickly bored of waiting for Axel to be done with the shower and decided to make a tradition out of sex in the bathroom, pushing open the shower curtains before Axel had been in there for a full minute. Axel was more than willing, but both of them were too lazy to search for lube or condoms so they ended up whacking each other off and sitting down in the shower until the water ran cold.

"I always get hard in the shower." Axel said, out of the blue.

Roxas blinked. "What?"

"It's 'cause I beat off in the shower so many times. Now just being in the shower turns me on." Axel leaned back against the wet, tiled wall, getting kind of cold but not really wanting to get up.

"You're fucking weird." Roxas got up and pulled a probably-clean towel off the rack, starting to dry himself off.

Axel pulled that wide, goofy grin of his that made Roxas smile a little more every time he saw it. "Yeah."

Both of their clothes were a total mess, so Roxas got to borrow a set of Axel's black monstrosities. "Are all of these studs really necessary? And I don't even know who this band is." Roxas pulled at the shirt he was now wearing, looking down at it. It was skin-tight on Axel, meaning it actually fit Roxas.

Axel was mock-offended. "You're not my friend anymore."

The girls were at a birthday party at one of their kiddie friends' house, so the two were treated to blessed silence until Roxas heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway and the engine turning off. "Shit," said Axel, and Roxas realized that he'd never actually met Axel's mother – the redhead never mentioned his dad, so Roxas figured the guy wasn't in the picture. "Mom came home early." Axel looked like he wasn't happy about it for some reason, but there was no getting out of it now. Shoes tapped up the steps and the front door slammed as the pair emerged from Axel's room.

Axel's mother had probably been quite pretty when she was younger, and she retained a taste of what she was like in her early days. Her chin-length blonde hair, peppered with only a little gray, was parted to the side and she wore a smart suit that Roxas' mother would not be out of place wearing. She was obviously tired, but her eyes opened to their full size when she saw Roxas standing there wearing what she seemed to recognize as her son's clothing.

Axel shuffled his feet, uncomfortable. "Roxas, mom, mom, Roxas." He would have dragged Roxas away then if his mother had not held up her hand before giving her son a look that Roxas didn't get. Axel, however, evidently did. "His clothes were covered in chocolate sauce." The older woman narrowed her eyes. "And mustard."

"It's nice to meet you, Roxas." She said so in a clipped tone with a frown that undermined her words. She plucked off her high heels and hung them from her fingers before going to was was probably her office-slash-bedroom and firmly shutting the door.

Axel sighed. "She knows we fucked."

"What?" Roxas wasn't following what had just happened. "How?"

A shrug. "She just does. And now she's pissed." Axel didn't seem to care that his mother could probably hear him from where she was.

"Umm, why?" Roxas was trying to keep his tone low and was trying to inch his way back to Axel's room, but the other boy was having none of it and was definitely speaking louder than was necessary for Roxas to hear him.

"Because dad left her for a dude and now she thinks I'm turning into my horrible, awful father, and then I'm going to leave her just like he did." Axel was smiling, but it wasn't the smile that he had been wearing only minutes ago. Roxas didn't like this smile.

"It's pretty pathetic, isn't it, being hung up over a fag even after all these years." Axel began pacing around in a circle as he spoke. "And now your only son has turned his back on you. Boo, hoo, hoo." He mimed wiping away tears.

"Axel –" Roxas squirmed, wanting to end the situation immediately. "Just stop it, okay? You're being a dick. Let's go somewhere."

Axel rounded on him, suddenly not anywhere near smiling anymore. "Fuck you!" He spat. "What do you know? You can go somewhere on your own, you little shit!" Axel shoved him towards the door, opened it, and then slammed it behind Roxas' back.

Roxas stood there, shocked. He wasn't sure what had just happened. After a moment he started running to get away from the sense of discomfort hanging around Axel's house before settling into a dazed walk that he kept up all the way home. He kept going over what had happened, but it was like there were pieces of the puzzle missing and there were empty spaces where important things should have been.

What did he do? What did he say? And why did it... hurt?

xxx

At about one in the morning Roxas was woken up by the phone ringing. His mother was gone again on an overnight business trip. Roxas picked up the phone, still only semi-conscious, to hear Axel on the other line.

"Roxas?" Axel sounded strange.

"Ngyuuh. Yeah." Roxas rubbed the grit out of his eyes and yawned.

"Look, man, I'm sorry." Axel started talking and after that it only came out in a tumbling mess. "I was a total asshole today and I didn't mean what I said – I don't want you to think that I did, 'cause I didn't and I wasn't thinking straight, I just get really pissed off about this kind of thing, and – fuck –" Roxas wasn't quite sure he believed what he thought he was hearing, because if he _did_ believe it then Axel was crying on the other line. "I just wanted you to know that – I guess I can't ask you to forget about it because people don't forget about shit, but, it's not really important, right? It doesn't mean anything." The phone sagged away from Roxas' ear and he sank into the couch, stunned. He certainly didn't know what to say.

Axel was breathing heavily. "So just, like – it doesn't mean anything, right?"

Roxas managed to croak out a response. "Yeah. It's all cool."

Roxas though he could hear Axel sniffing hoarsely. "Good." And the line went dead.

Suffice to say that Roxas didn't sleep much that night. His mind was fully occupied with one thought that kept running over and over in his mind: _It's not supposed to be like this. Not here. Not with Roxas._

xxx

Cloud hadn't been sure at first where Sephiroth got his money. One of the first things that he had learned about the older man was that he was a university student – he had double-majored in psychology and business and was now going for his masters in the latter. He was smart enough to be getting a scholarship, but a scholarship couldn't pay for a Lexus. When Cloud asked Sephiroth, the man had replied, "I was promised as much money as I wanted, as long as I could double it." It was weeks before Cloud realized that Sephiroth was referring to his father, whom Sephiroth never called as such or mentioned by name.

The night Sephiroth had picked up Cloud, the last bit of common sense that Cloud retained had told him that it was not a good idea for Sephiroth to know where he lived. So in an even more asinine move, he had said that he would go to Sephiroth's place.

Really, it hadn't sounded like a proposition in his head. Again, he blamed the lack of sleep.

Sephiroth had taken him back to an apartment that was full of moving boxes that hadn't been opened yet. They hadn't talked any more than was absolutely necessary, and when Sephiroth had opened the door to his bedroom Cloud had walked in and started unbuttoning his shirt without looking at the other man. He could feel Sephiroth's presence behind him, looming, the sound of his breath shuddering in and out as he stood there in his still-soaked suit. Any sane man would have gone to the bathroom to dry off, but Sephiroth was not 'any man' and none of this evening had been sane to begin with.

Cloud could have said that he was shaking because of the cold, but when Sephiroth asked him if he was a virgin he said yes. There was no real point in lying and it was too late to turn back now anyway.

A man with any sense of morality would have sent Cloud out of the door right then, hell, a man like that would never have taken a high school boy into his apartment in the first place, but Cloud already knew that Sephiroth was different. Sephiroth was just as cold as his rain-damp skin in some places but scalding hot in others, in the places that Cloud slowly became familiar with.

After Cloud removed his shirt, Sephiroth did the rest before stripping the wet clothing off his own body like he was peeling the skin off an orange, revealing the stinging sweet flesh underneath. Sephiroth was absolutely beautiful, an ice sculpture made real, and Cloud was almost surprised to have his fingers press into a giving surface instead of something hard as stone. Sephiroth's hands were frozen as if dead but the inside of his mouth was burning as it chased away the coldness in Cloud's body, replacing the icy shivers with heated ones.

Cloud was terrified but he wanted to be, hands tangling in Sephiroth's matted hair as the man took him in his mouth, making Cloud gasp and stifle sounds that he had never heard himself make before. When he came it only confused his body, feeling disconnected and yet oh-so physical at the same time. From there it was like he was split, split between the pain that came when Sephiroth took him and the warmth that curled up deep inside of him when the older man moved.

After it was all over Sephiroth kissed him, saying nothing, and went to take a shower. Cloud just lay back on the bed, curling around the sheets that were damp from the rain, sweat and semen and breathed while his mind tried to keep up with his body and failed, failed, failed.

xxx

Already a bit off-balance from the previous night, Roxas was further thrown off-balance when he got a phone call in the morning and it wasn't from Axel. It was from Kairi.

Kairi had never called him when he was staying with his mother. Hell, _nobody _called him when he was staying with his mother. How the hell did she even get his number, anyway?

"I used a phone book, silly." Kairi admonished him. "Anyway, I'll make this quick because we've both got to get to school – red or blue?"

"...What?"

"Red or blue. You're going to have to wear one of them. For the talent show, remember?"

"Uh, blue, I guess." Roxas felt like things were moving along and completely out of his control.

"Fantastic. I'll pick the stuff up at the sewing store on the way back from school today." Kairi paused, and Roxas guessed that she was writing something down.

"Wait – what? Can I ask exactly what it is you're getting and what you're going to do with it?"

"Three yards of blue ribbon. You and the ribbon will get to bond on Monday, don't worry. Gotta go." And on that ominous note she hung up.

xxx

No matter where he went he couldn't escape the damned thing.

"The talent show," Larxene explained. It was lunchtime and the full group was hanging out by the parking lot on one of those cement slabs that stopped cars from driving over a dropoff. "Everyone has to have an act. If we the entire school has to listen to us, we might as well not suck."

"I can't believe this." Roxas felt an extreme urge to slam his forehead into the nearest available surface, repeatedly.

Larxene ignored his remarks. "You and Axel should do something."

"Like what?" Marluxia's tone was snide. "Go up on stage and shoot mustard at each other?" Roxas had mentioned that little escapade to the other boy and had regretted it almost immediately.

"Why don't you two get together with Namine and do something?" Everyone except Roxas turned around to stare at Demyx like he was some sort of gigantic insect. "...What? What did I say?" Demyx was confused.

"I'm sure that would go over marvelously." Marluxia's sarcasm was so thick that even Demyx was capable of picking up on it. "They could do a three-man public service announcement. Kids: always tell an adult when someone you know talks about suicide!"

"I'm impressed," Axel drawled. "You've managed to take your asshole meter up another notch, proving once and for all that this dial _does_ go to eleven."

"You're calling _me_ an asshole?" Marluxia sneered. "Shit, your hypocrisy never fails to astound me."

The two of them probably would have gone on for at least another ten minutes had Demyx not butted in. "Whoa, whoa, what the hell is the story here? Who in the what in the how?"

"None of your damned business," Axel pushed off his seat and stalked off away from the school.

Roxas felt a bit awkward but didn't follow him. "What was that about?"

"Ugh, long story." Larxene obviously wasn't in the mood to explain either, leaving Roxas with the mixed feelings of curiosity and the notion that it probably would be better if he didn't know.

xxx

Sephiroth's schedule was highly irregular, and sometimes he met with clients in dubious places. What exactly Sephiroth _did_ for these clients Cloud figured involved money and lots of it – the kind of money that involved intimidating men in suits and metal briefcases with expensive locks.

Sephiroth made no attempt to hide Cloud from his clients or his subordinates, and often took the highschool boy along with him to various meetings as a sort of accessory or a pet. Cloud got looks, to be sure, but nobody ever said anything, and when Cloud's phone rang and it was Sephiroth, Cloud _always _answered.

Sephiroth had three – well, Cloud wasn't sure if you could call them bodyguards, employees, go-fers or lackeys, but basically they did everything Sephiroth told them. The one with the long black hair streaked with gray and a mark on his forehead seemed to have some sort of authority over the other two – a cocky redhead and a bald man who never took off his sunglasses and talked even less than Cloud did. Usually at least one of them was off on some errand or another, but at one particular time they had all been present with a particular client that Cloud remembered quite well.

He was a middle-aged man, too fat to be called portly, and Cloud would never forget the nauseating smell of his hideous red lounge jacket – like tobacco and old sweat. The man owned a place in a sleazy district that Cloud never would have gone near otherwise, and the entire joint was filled with buxom ladies dolled up in surprisingly attractive honey bee ensembles. Cloud didn't really want to think about why.

The... _negotiations_ had been taking longer than they usually did, so while the attention was focused elsewhere he quietly moved from his position at Sephiroth's feet and slipped out of the room, the silver-haired man's gaze following him discreetly as Cloud shut the door with a soft click behind him.

It was then that Cloud noticed the redhead of the trio standing outside the door (either to keep people from going in or coming out), looking bored and fiddling with the baton he usually carried around.

"Yo, boytoy. Having fun?" Cloud scowled and didn't even grace the man with a look.

Cloud wandered about the building for a while, looking for somewhere he could find some privacy but finding none. Every inch of the 'staff' area of this business was crammed with honey bee girls, a few of which exclaimed and squealed when they saw him, chattering to their friends about how cute he was. At one point he was almost cornered by a pair of them wielding a makeup kit and some clothing that he was absolutely positive was not made for a man, but he managed to flee to the safety of a storage room, kneeling between a bucket and an old broom.

When Sephiroth found him there about a half an hour later the man's usually stoic face broke and he chuckled. "What are you doing in here?"

"Hiding from the hive," Cloud muttered.

Sephiroth didn't offer Cloud a hand up, but Cloud didn't expect one. "Most boys your age – or of any age, for that matter – would be thrilled to be pawed over by dozens of honey bee girls."

"I don't want them." Cloud got to his feet and dusted his pants off as he stood.

The look in Sephiroth's eyes at that moment was one of elation, the first moment when he knew for sure that Cloud was completely in his power. "Of course," the man said, and leaned down to give Cloud a kiss that held no softness but spoke words that were clearer than anything Sephiroth had ever said.

_Mine._

xxx

Hanging out with Larxene's gang was sometimes like listening to one half of a telephone conversation. Usually it was all cool and they would hang like they usually did, but sometimes – like Axel's outburst the other day – the balloon would pop and Roxas would be left adrift trying to figure out what was going on. (He seemed to be feeling like that quite a lot lately).

It was shaping up to be another one of those times when Roxas, Axel, Larxene, Demyx and Marluxia were all down at Luxord's club. (None of them were legal, of course – it was all about scratching out bits of the last digit on your ID – not like Luxord ever bothered to check, anyway.) Booze, drugs and techno music pumped through the building, the walls barely containing the churning masses of dancers and minglers that came to party the night away. It was getting late and Roxas still wasn't drunk enough. Marluxia and Axel were sitting at the same table as Roxas near the back of the club where it was possible to talk to someone without having to yell over the music. They were both starting to burn out and were getting cranky, but hadn't started anything yet. Larxene and Demyx were still dancing, but every once in a while they swung round the table and tried to get the boys to dance, Larxene kicking their chairs and Demyx enveloping them in giggly, E-induced hugs.

When the two of them swung by for the third or fourth time that night, Demyx was at the peak of his high and Larxene was laughing like she wasn't the most sober of the lot of them. "Axeeeel," she crooned, draping her arms around the back of his chair and resting her chin on his shoulder, "Come ooon, let's have fun. When's the last time you danced with me?"

"I don't feel like it." Axel was looking down at the bottom of his beer can as he swirled around in his hand, trying to decide just how drunk he was.

"Me neither." Roxas said quickly when Larxene looked his way.

Larxene rolled her eyes and switched targets. "Mar_lux_ia!" she lilted. "Get your ass up and dance with me. I'm sick of Demyx and his spazz." She kicked the leg of his chair and started pulling on his arm. When this failed, Larxene yanked Marluxia's head up by the sides of his face and crushed his lips with her own in a kiss that made Demyx hoot from behind them and Axel only look annoyed at the show.

"I'm tired." Marluxia said, and he _did_ look like he was about ready to crash.

"Dammit!" Larxene pounded a frustrated fist on the table. "You guys all suck."

Axel swallowed the last few drops from his can and snorted. "Maybe if you weren't such a fag hag you'd get laid once in a while."

Marluxia, pissed but still tired, tossed an empty can in Axel's direction. "Fuck you."

"Don't you just wish." Axel replied by throwing his now-empty can at Marluxia.

Larxene, however, was more upset than a half-baked jab at Marluxia's girly looks merited. "For fuck's sake, Axel, you really love to make people hate you, don't you?" She stormed off and Demyx followed her rather helplessly.

"Sorry, man." Demyx didn't look like he was even sure what he was apologizing for as he bounced away after Larxene.

Roxas, silent through the entire exchange, looked askance at Axel but received only a sour look.

Eventually Axel and Marluxia decided there was no way they would stay any longer and Larxene and Demyx didn't want to stick around if it was just them, so they all left the club in a gaggle of the sort that probably scared elderly ladies. They wandered through the night along sidewalks and under buzzing streetlamps, one by one members of the group trickling off in various directions until it was just Roxas and Larxene – the two lived a bare few blocks apart.

Larxene babbled on for a while about some band that she really liked that Axel was also a fan of, Roxas making noises every once in a while to show that he was still there. At one point Roxas replied with something like, "Yeah, yeah, we listened to that CD at Axel's house," and Larxene stopped dead in her tracks.

"You listened to a CD at Axel's house." She repeated.

Roxas blinked, sleepy. "Yeah, a while ago. It was okay, I guess, I don't know much about –"

"At _Axel's house._" Larxene said again, looking at Roxas as if she was trying to figure something out.

"That's what I said."

"Roxas," Larxene began, "Do you know how long me and Axel have been friends?"

Thrown off by the sudden change in topic, Roxas hesitated before answering. "No, I guess not."

"I've known him since elementary school. Now, guess how many times I've been to his house?"

Roxas rubbed the side of his face with his palm. "How the hell should I know?"

Larxene held up her thumb and forefinger in the shape of a goose egg. "Zero. He's never let me, or _anyone_ that I know of go to his house. He freaks out if someone even mentions it. I don't even know where he lives and he's crazy paranoid about keeping it that way."

Roxas was shocked, his mind just beer-fogged enough that he couldn't think up a reply that didn't sound utterly lame.

"I'm not sure if it's a good idea to be telling you this," Larxene said slowly, "But... it would probably be worse if I didn't. Axel might act like he's all fun and games, but he takes shit worse than any of us. He really likes you, Roxas, so don't fuck him up – or I'll fuck _you_ up." The glare that Larxene gave him was so deadly serious that Roxas couldn't help but acquiesce.

"Okay, no worries," Roxas held his hands in the air like he was under arrest. "No need to be so serious."

He seriously wasn't expecting it when Larxene grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and yanked him towards her so she could look him straight in the eye, her other hand grabbing his arm and gouging five very painful marks into his wrist. "I _am_ fucking serious, and you'd better listen to me when I say this because I don't make empty threats. If you are in _any _way fucking with Axel – other than the literal sense – I will personally ensure the loss of at least one limb." She leaned in close and whispered in his ear in a way that would have been sexy if Axel did it but was terrifying when she did it – "And who knows? It might be _that_ one."

When she backed away it was all Roxas could do to nod mutely.

"Fantastic!" Larxene beamed. "Well, now that we have that cleared up..." She gestured to her right where she would make the turn towards the basement suite where she lived alone. "I'll see you tomorrow, Roxas." She sauntered off down the street, leaving Roxas alone with his feelings of mounting terror.


	5. Did You Fuck

Midterms. I blame midterms. -.-;; ...and Tvtropes. Don't visit that site. Ever. As an apology for procrastinating, I drew a mediocre picamature of Sora dressed up as a prince. The link is on my profile, if you care to look.

Thanks to all my lovely reviewers! When I am waffling between writing and playing videogames, it's you guys who guilt-trip me into writing. :P

I think by this point I need to admit that the third chapter of this fic was largely inspired by the Aquabats' song, 'Pool Party'. If you recognized the references then I congratulate you.

**How to Become a Nobody**

**Chapter 5: Did You Fuck**

By the end of the week, Roxas had forgotten about how he had been looking forward to coming here to get away from the drama that was beginning to encircle his life as Sora. Now, more than anything, he wanted to separate himself from what he had as Roxas and go back to being Sora again, away from Larxene, Axel and what seemed to be a growing number of Axel's issues. What had started as a carefree escape was becoming something of a wood tick, growing teeth and pincers and burrowing into Roxas' skin.

And so when Roxas pulled Axel's earring out of his ear and snapped Kairi's necklace around his neck on the bus, it was with no small measure of relief that he became Sora again.

As soon as he got back home, Sora called Kairi and asked her out on a date of Saturday. "We haven't actually had a proper one yet," he said to her over the phone. "Just you and me."

"I'm in," Kairi's smile worked its way into her voice. "Do you want to go anywhere in particular?"

Sora sat down on his bed, phone in hand. "Umm..."

"I hear there's a good movie playing at the theatre," Kairi suggested.

"Sounds good to me. Wanna have dinner or something first?"

Kairi giggled. "So clichéd. Dinner and a movie."

"You don't like eating?" Sora joked.

"Okay, okay, dinner and a movie it is. I'll pick you up at six."

Sora grinned to himself. "There's something wrong with that statement. _I'm_ supposed to be picking _you_ up."

"Too bad you can't drive," Kairi jabbed. "It must be a real wound to your masculine pride." Kairi had a brand-new sports car as a coming-of-age gift from her parents, and while she didn't drive it very often, preferring instead to walk or commute with Sora and Riku, at times it was very convenient.

"How could you be so cruel?" Sora could never help laughing at his own jokes.

"Such is life. I'll see you tomorrow!" The two said their farewells and Sora hung up the phone feeling much better for having talked to his girlfriend.

xxx

Kairi showed up early and Sora met her at the door with a quick kiss on the lips. They spent some time deciding on a restaurant before Kairi picked out a new one in town, a quirky Indian restaurant that apparently had really authentic cuisine.

Of course, what Sora didn't realize was that 'authentic' translated into 'really spicy' and he ended up downing more than a few glasses of water during the course of the meal as Kairi laughed at his intolerance for spicy food. Conversation was light and no different from how it always was, and they split the bill without thinking about it, like they always did when they ate lunch with Riku.

The movie theatre was close, so they decided to walk, holding hands and swinging them together playfully. It wasn't until they stood right in front of the theatre that Sora realized exactly what film was showing.

"This is the movie based off my dad's book!" He exclaimed.

"You haven't seen it already, have you?" Kairi asked.

"Actually, no," Sora was sheepish. "I guess I should've. I'm such a bad son."

Kairi nudged Sora with her shoulder. "Terrible, terrible boy. Should be disowned."

The theatre was fairly empty – the movie had been playing for almost a week and everyone who wanted to see it had most likely seen it already. Sora and Kairi sat in the front row with a bucket of popcorn between them, eating most of it before the movie even started and spilling a good portion of it over the red cushy seats and the predictably sticky floor.

"Shouldn't we be sitting at the back?" Sora asked as the opening trailers flashed across the big screen.

"Why? We always sit at the front." Kairi was baffled.

"'Cuz, y'know, that's what couples do. Sit at the back and make out." Sora said around a mouthful of popcorn.

Kairi threw some popcorn at his face and he laughed, picking it off his lap and eating it. "I don't know about you," she said, eyebrow raised, "But I actually want to see the movie that we, y'know, _paid for._"

Her tone was light and Sora laughed. "Well, I guess it would be kind of weird to make out while watching this movie. It would be like my dad was here watching us suck face." He stuck out his tongue before falling silent as the movie started, the actors' names sliding over the screen as a series of opening shots showed a city and various people walking around, talking to each other, but all without showing their faces.

Sora was ashamed to admit that he had never actually read his father's award-winning novel, so the film was totally new for him.

The movie started out like a lot of new movies were these days with some kid discovering fantasy creatures living in his attic in a very Narnia-esque way. The main one was some sort of trash-talking fire-pixie that flitted around making snappy pop-culture references. Sora felt a bit let-down at first – his dad had been writing some sort of derivative kids' book? Geez. But about half and hour into the movie the shit started to hit the fan and Sora was reminded that the film was, in fact, rated 'R'.

The film had such a black sense of humor that it started crossing the line into 'not funny at all', and Sora supposed that was the intent of the movie. During moments where you thought there was going to be some kind of silly slapstick humor where the fairies and whatnot got slapped around a bit by objects or pets, they were actually quite brutally and graphically squashed to death. The main character was obviously falling apart at the seams, and the viewer was left wondering if half of what was going on was totally in the poor kid's head. As the film progressed the protagonist withdrew from his friends and family, finally locking himself in his attic with his fairy friends and shutting out the real world altogether.

The fantasy world as portrayed in the film was far less than idyllic, coming across as some sort of extended drug-trip that wouldn't have been out of place in _Trainspotting_ or _A Scanner Darkly._ What had started off as an escapist fantasy became downright freaky and malevolent.

At the end of the movie, the fire-pixie had a temper-tantrum when the main character told him that he wanted to leave the attic, and the pixie lit a pair of Hello Kitty socks (a recurring item in the movie) on fire. The viewer was left wondering whether or not the entire house burned down, taking the kid and his family with it, or if it amounted to nothing and they all survived.

While Kairi was obviously quite entranced with the movie, by the time the end credits began to roll Sora felt decidedly ill.

"That was amazing!" Kairi gushed as they walked out of the theatre. "I mean, from the trailers I was expecting something like _Pan's Labyrinth_ – and don't get me wrong, that was a fantastic movie – but he put a whole new spin on it and it came out completely different. First thing on Monday I'm going to have to get a copy of the book." She looked positively giddy at the prospect before she took a look at Sora's face. "Hey – are you okay? You look kind of sick."

Sora did feel sick, but it wasn't because of the popcorn or the spicy food at dinner. "Ah, it's – it just kind of creeped me out."

"Aw, no stomach for gore?" Kairi poked him. "Let's go buy some candy. Sugar makes everything better."

Sora dredged up a shaky smile. "Sure. But we're not getting the green pixie stix."

"They all taste the same!" Kairi laughed like she always did when he complained about the green ones, and the mood lightened considerably as they walked back to Kairi's car.

The closest place to get sugar was _Beast's_, a gas-station-slash-convenience store owned by the hairiest man that Sora had ever met who looked a lot scarier than he was. Usually his wife, Belle, managed the store while he did the accounting and such. The woman often joked that her husband would scare the customers away. It was within walking distance, but Sora suggested they just walk instead of driving Kairi looked nervous.

"Um, I was there earlier today and their candy order came late," Kairi tapped the steering wheel with one hand as she turned on the gas. "They don't have any of the good stuff." Kairi was avoiding his eyes but Sora let it drop, shrugging, and they ended up going to a convenience store in another neighbourhood.

They sat in the car, parked behind the convenience store, downing various brightly-coloured candies that probably caused cancer with cheerful glee.

"I hate the squishy pink things," Sora commented with his mouth full of licorice. "What are they even supposed to be?"

"Strawberries?" Kairi suggested.

"They don't look or taste like strawberries." Sora said flatly, and they ended up talking about how candy never tasted like the fruit it was supposed to be imitating until all of the sugar was gone and the two of them were left sitting alone in the front seat of Kairi's car.

Sora wasn't surprised when Kairi leaned over to kiss him, her breath still smelling like fake strawberry sugar. It started out like before, sweet and light, before Kairi opened her mouth for him and her tongue began to thrash against his just as wildly as Axel's ever had.

Sora, twisted in his seat awkwardly, brought one leg up onto the seat so he could face Kairi. She crawled up onto the seat and began to lean into him, pulling forwards until the line of her body met Sora's as her hands, still gentle, began to wander under his shirt.

Feeling like he should be doing something but not sure how far he should be going, Sora cupped one hand over her ass, squeezing with a light pressure that she seemed to like.

Kairi came closer and her thigh pressed against Sora's crotch, sending tingly jolts down his spine.

"I have a condom," she whispered in his ear, and it was then that Sora froze. She was talking about having sex. He was going to have sex with Kairi, his best friend, the girl next door. Sex. With Kairi.

Of course he'd thought it would eventually happen, but not _right away. _It – it seemed _strange_ somehow, not _right. _Sora didn't want to picture Kairi like that, not yet, he wasn't ready and she wasn't just a random fuck like Axel, she was _special_ and he didn't want their first time to be surrounded by candy wrappers in the front seat of Kairi's car.

"Kairi –" he broke off, unsure but still fighting not to look away. "It's – it's too soon. Let's wait, okay?"

There was a flash of something in Kairi's eyes that Sora couldn't read before she leaned back into the driver's seat, disappointed. "Oh. Okay. You're right. This is our first date, after all." She smiled weakly at him.

Sora grinned back and his head darted forward to kiss her on the cheek. "Let's call it a night. All this candy is starting to make me feel sick."

"Yeah," Kairi laughed, and fished around in her purse before pulling out her keys and sticking the one with the purple plastic ring on it in the ignition. "That was definitely too much."

xxx

Tifa was worried.

Cloud had been acting strangely for a while now, breaking plans of theirs with vague excuses and effusive apologies, promising to make it up to her the next time. It didn't bother her at first – sometimes Cloud just wanted to be alone for some reason, and she respected his need for solitude. But then he started disappearing for long stretches – cutting classes and then not coming to school altogether, sometimes for days at a time. He would then come back, asking to borrow her notes and silently asking her not to get on his case about it.

But now, even when Cloud was there it was like he wasn't, his mind completely occupied with something he refused to reveal. It was getting ridiculous, and Tifa was worried. She finally made up her mind to confront him about it after one of the decreasingly fewer classes that he actually decided to show up for.

Cloud seemed to know what he was in for and tried to sneak out of the class after the bell without her noticing, but she caught him by the strap of his backpack and fair dragged him across the hall into an empty study room, shutting the door behind them.

"You," Tifa said, barely restraining her frustration with him, "Are going to tell me what's going on."

Cloud fidgeted and looked away. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't lie to me!" She placed her hands on her hips, eyebrows furrowed. "You're distant, distracted, and you barely even show up for class any more. What's the deal? Why can't you tell me what's on your mind? You can trust me."

Cloud began to fidget even more, both hands going up to tug and twist in his hair. It was something he only ever let himself do around a handful of people, and meant he was considering what she said. "I – met someone."

Tifa scowled. "And this amazing guy is worth cutting half your classes for? If you keep this up you're going to get suspended at least! I can't keep covering for you forever."

Cloud swallowed, looking at the floor. "You don't understand."

"Of course I don't understand, because you're not telling me anything!" Tifa stomped her foot. She knew this was the wrong way to go about getting information out of Cloud, but god_dammit_ she was just so fed up with this.

"You don't understand," Cloud repeated. "He's so beyond that. Beyond everything."

"What are you even talking about?" Tifa hissed. "How long have you even known him? How old is he? Does he even care about you?" She lowered her voice. "Did you have sex with him?"

Cloud stepped back, angry. "You don't know a fucking thing about him, and you couldn't even _begin_ to understand. It's none of your fucking business who I see."

Tifa tried to grab his shoulder's but was batted away. "I just care about you, Cloud! This kind of thing isn't _healthy._ You shouldn't just drop everything in your life for some guy who might not even love you!"

Cloud stalked toward the door, yanking it open before shooting one last glance back at his best friend. "There was never anything to drop," he said bitterly before exiting the room and slamming the door as his heavy footfalls could be heard stalking down the hallway.

All the anger drained out of Tifa in that moment and she only felt sad and even more worried than ever. "Oh, Cloud..."

xxx

While the talent show was still a ways off yet, Kairi's zealous enthusiasm had Riku and Sora brainstorm, plan, and practice for it every week. The biggest problem with their little production was that Kairi was incredibly scattered about it and kept changing her mind – Sora tried to be enthusiastic, for her sake, but Riku quite blatantly didn't seem to care.

And then there was her borderline obsessive-compulsive fascination with their costumes. Sora hadn't understood what Kairi had meant by_bonding with the ribbon_, though kinky thoughts **had** entered his mind. No, what Kairi meant is that Sora was decked out in blue, blue, and more blue, from the flouncy, ribboned sleeves down to the poofy pants and girlishly tight leggings. It might not have been intended as kinky, but the ribbon and lace was as restrictive as Sora imagined any bondage gear to be, right down to the humiliating and brightly-coloured codpiece.

Riku, inversely, was decked out in a rather more masculine red, slightly militaristic garb. Anyone else wearing the outfit would have looked like a cosplayer – Riku just looked _cool. _When Sora demanded to know why _he_ didn't get the manly clothing, Kairi replied simply, "You chose blue."

D'oh.

Kairi was only half-done the pair of outfits and was continually poking and prodding the boys, whipping out measuring tapes and safety pins during their rehearsal-slash-get-togethers and re-doing entire portions of their outfits.

"It's like I have living Barbie dolls!" After Riku shot Kairi a dirty look, she quickly corrected herself. "Ken dolls. ...Anatomically correct Ken dolls."

Naturally, she hadn't even begun designing her own ensemble. She seemed to be having a lot more fun hunkifying Riku and emasculating Sora.

Kairi kept an empty classroom at school reserved for their little weekly meetings, where the three would push the desks away from the front of the room and sit on the carpeted floor and the coveted teacher's swivelly chair, typically getting very little done. Every so often Kairi would bring out her Duffle Bag of Doom and announce an impromptu fitting session, undressing her friends as far as decency would allow and slapping on the half-finished costume designs.

It was during one of these moments when Kairi had a sudden and inexplicable burst of inspiration that drove her to run out of the room, muttering about something that sounded like 'corsets' _(ohgodno)_.

Sora felt that the word 'awkward' had been invented for moments when you were alone with your male best friend in an empty classroom, half-dressed in something that men had not worn for hundreds of years and should never wear again while trying your best to not look at said gratuitously shirtless best friend.

The fact of the matter was that while Sora hung out with Riku practically every day, he didn't really know the other boy all that well. They'd been close friends when they were little kids, but Riku had been away for a number of years during junior high school and when he returned... well, Sora _thought_ they had picked up where they left off, but sometimes he wasn't so sure. Riku had gone through his growth spurt at that time and came back taller and somehow _older_-seeming than Sora, like he knew something that Sora didn't. Riku never talked about what he had done or who he had met while away, and the entire thing just seemed like a sort of _gap_, and _emptiness_ in their friendship where they should have known each other.

All of this was in the background of Sora's mind as he sat on the teacher's desk in the empty classroom, Riku off to the side and leaning against the whiteboard.

"I heard you finally started going out with Kairi," Riku finally said.

"Yeah," Sora swung his legs in the air. "Dinner and a movie. Classic stuff. Fun times."

"Did you fuck her?" Riku asked it so casually with such nonchalance that if Sora had been drinking some sort of carbonated beverage, it would have all gone out his nose. Instead, Sora settled for choking like a dying animal.

"Did I _what?_" Sora spewed, unintentionally spitting as he said it.

"Sex. Nookie. The dirty deed. The horizontal tango. You know." Riku made a completely unnecessary fist-and-finger motion to elucidate what he was talking about.

"I know what 'fuck' means." Sora tried for indignant but it came out more as flustered.

Riku rolled his eyes. "So, did you or didn't you?"

"No." Sora said flatly.

Riku raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? Man, she is so hot for you. I was sure she'd try to bag you right away."

Sora squirmed on the desk. "Well, she did. I just didn't think it was a good idea for the first date."

Riku turned to stare at Sora, a rare expression of slack-jawed shock on the boy's face. "You are so shitting me. Do you seriously have a dick?"

"Oh, fuck you." Sora was starting to get annoyed. "Why is it your business, anyway?"

"Sora, my friend," Riku shook his head despairingly, "If Kairi were not absolutely, one hundred-percent in love with you I would do her in an an _instant._" Any other guy in that moment would have made hip-thrusting motions, but Riku settled for a naughty leer. "She is absolutely _smoking._"

Sora felt like he had just seen pornography on the internet of beloved cartoon mascots from his childhood: highly, highly disturbed and just a little bit turned on.

Riku must have interpreted the look on Sora's face as something else, because he quickly backtracked. "Seriously, I wouldn't do it. Besides, I've got my needs satisfied." A decidedly smug and superior grin crossed his face, obviously daring Sora to push him on it.

"Okay, who is it," Sora demanded.

"Three words. Blonde. Chatty. Cheerleader." Riku counted off on his fingers.

Sora almost groaned. "No."

"_Yes_." Riku's smirk only grew. "Rikku is hot, hot, hot. She's totally ADD and she never shuts up, but let me say one thing –" Riku stopped leaning on the whiteboard and drew closer to Sora, leaning in close to stage-whisper. "All that talking must build muscle or something, because _shit_ does it pay off."

Sora did not need to be hearing the details of Riku's sex life. "Whatever, man. You just want to be able to scream your own name when you come." Sora mimicked Rikku's high-pitched voice. "_Oh Riku, Riku, you're so hot!_"

"I so don't want to hear coming out of a guy's mouth." That one sentence was enough to catapult Sora and Riku out of dirty boy-banter and back into awkward again, and Sora became painfully aware that he was _really, really_ close to Riku's bared, alarmingly well-defined pecs. In fact, he was already well into comparing Riku's stockier musculature to Axel's skinny chest before he realized just what he was doing.

In the best timing of her life, Kairi returned that very moment with an armful of new fabric that Sora, for the first time ever, actually welcomed having to try on. The pain of having Kairi accidentally poke safety pins into his arm was far preferable to contemplating the lines of Riku's abs.

_Far_ preferable.

xxx

The rumormill was abuzz with various renditions of the very popular 'Did you hear about Rosa and Kain?!' story. After the lunchroom fiasco things had apparently gone from bad to worse, and the new word on the block was that breakup was inevitable and imminent.

The co- presidents and founders of the rumormill, the trio to which a certain member belonged that Sora now knew more about than he ever wanted to, were taking special delight in the story. Yuna had never liked Kain in the first place, Rikku only cared that he had a great body, and Paine, well, she didn't really like anybody outside of the trio anyway – but the three of them together seemed to take the series of rumors to almost malicious levels.

Privately, Sora thought Yuna was kind of a bitch but he didn't say anything because she was friends with Kairi. Sora didn't know all the nitty-gritty details of Rosa and Kain's relationship like Yuna did, but he knew that Kain was a good guy inside of his starched underpants and whatever kind of crap people were flinging around about him was ninety percent bullshit.

Kain's problem was that he took everything very seriously and very personally, and he was, well, admittedly a bit on the jealous and possessive side. This tended to result in a lot of people making jokes and off-comments that would make him snap at odd intervals, only feeding the rumormill even further.

You would think that with a group of guys you wouldn't get the kind of crap that Yuna and her girly-girl friends spread around, but guys had their own ways of being assholes. Guys on the rugby team made jokes and cat-calls at Rosa because they knew it would piss the hell out of Kain. One such incident had Kain looking like he was _almost_ going to deck the guy who made the last comment about Rosa's ass, settling instead for flinging the ball he was holding violently to the ground and walking over to the goalpost to punch it hard enough to bruise and bloody his knuckles. These kinds of outbursts only ever made things worse, and after practice Sora approached Kain and told him that.

"Seriously, just laugh it off and they'll leave you alone. They're only saying stuff like that because they can get a rise out of you." Sora advised.

Kain shook his head. "I can't do that. I can't let that – that _filth_ – badmouth Rosa."

"She doesn't care half as much as you do," Sora said. "Just let it go!"

"Rosa is very kind," Kain's tone was harsh and almost bitter. "She would forgive anybody."

Something in what the blonde said stopped Sora from replying.

Almost as an afterthought, Kain added, "But thank you for saying that, Sora. I know you mean well. It's good to know that... you're on my side, at least."

With those words Kain left the field, leaving Sora standing there, frowning and unsettled.

xxx

While Sora was inclined to think that Tifa was mother-henning and a worrywart, he did have to admit that Cloud's absences were starting to get a bit strange. Tifa practically begged Sora to try and talk to Cloud, using the logic of 'you're related to him so you must be able to do something.'

Cloud was elusive even to someone as persistent as Tifa, and Sora, who only had half an ass invested in looking in on Cloud's welfare, typically never got more than a brief glimpse of his cousin in the hallway out outside the school, never getting in a conversation with the other boy longer than, "Hi, how's it going, bye."

While Sora never really got to talk to Cloud, he _did_ happen to witness something intriguing.

Cloud, who had been on a streak of attending school for the past few days, was waiting just inside the parking lot, looking up the street every few moments as if he expected a ride to be coming. Sora considered using this opportunity to talk to Cloud as Tifa had asked him to but was interrupted from his thoughts when the same amazingly sexy silver car that had picked Cloud up from the pool party pulled into the school parking lot, a princess in a brothel amongst the old, cheap cars of teachers and kids lucky enough to be gifted one by their parents.

This time Sora got a glimpse of the man attached to the caressing hand, a long-haired wonder that was just as silver, sleek, and expensive-looking as his car. The thought of, _that man is unbelievably hot_ was followed hard by _how come I didn't know Cloud was into guys?_ Those thoughts were dismissed as Cloud got into the car and the beauty drove away, engine humming in that contended and catlike way that only the top line of engines could hum.

Sora knew that Tifa would be dying to know of this mysterious and obviously rolling-in-dough that apparently had Cloud infatuated enough to cut half his classes for, but something stopped him from telling her what he had just seen. Really, it was nothing at all and really none of his or Tifa's business – Sora thought of Kain and all the crap that Yuna's meddling, however well-intentioned, had caused for both Kain and Rosa. Cloud certainly didn't need that kind of 'help', and Sora wasn't all that keen on giving it to him.

So Sora just filed it away in his mental cabinet (under 'S' for 'silver' and 'sexy') and kept the little tidbit of information to himself.

xxx

Technically, practicing for the talent show was optional, but the prevailing attitude from students and teachers was that you pretty much had to do it. Anyway, who wanted to go up on stage and humiliate themselves with a complete lack of a routine? Inevitably there would be some joker who would come up with the brilliant idea of doing improv comedy, but the idea was highly discouraged. It was because of this that at lunchtimes and after school you always heard bits and pieces of at least one group of students practicing their act in an empty classroom, the door shut to tease and prevent you from knowing everything that was going on.

While everyone still had lots of time left to practice for the talent show, all the teams had split off into mini-groups and had begun planning their acts. The gossip trio had an act together that Sora feared involved some sort of hideous poppy dance – and least that's what he derived from the stomping, giggling, and horrendous music that emanated from the gym where they usually practiced after school.

_I hear your voice calling out to me – you'll never be alone!_

Gag. At any rate, Cloud and Tifa were apparently doing an unknown something together and Rosa, Cecil and Kain seemed to be doing something that involved dropping lots of things repeatedly and cursing about it. The tension between the three of them was higher than ever, but it was too late to pick a new group now and Kain was too stubborn to split the group up because of personal reasons anyway.

Whatever it was that the other students would come up with in the end, Sora hoped that it would be bad and/or embarrassing enough to overshadow the... unique little production that Kairi was planning.

Oh, he could hope.

ooo

I hope YuRiPa didn't come off as too bitchy here. Sora really dislikes them and tends to blame them for more than what's really their fault. He doesn't like their music either. (Koda Kumi FTW!)

As for what kind of music Sora/Roxas _does_ like, well, Axels' punk-ish tastes have rubbed off on him but he's still a bit put off by hardcore, though he does have a fondness for oldschool punk like The Sex Pistols. At heart, though, he's the kind of person who talks about how much stereotypical third-wave emo bands suck and then goes home and listens to them in secret. :P


	6. Whiskey and Misdeeds

Yeah, I know I fail at life and updating. After reading _The Unfamiliar_ (epic. Totally epic stuff), though, I'm back in the AkuRoku groove. I hate leaving things unfinished.

Also, if you like Xigbar/Luxord – and I _know_ you do – I command you to read _How to Do Nothing At All _by Falaphesian. Actually, if you don't like Xigbar/Luxord, read it anyway. It will _make_ you like Xigbar/Luxord. :D

**How to Become a Nobody**

**Chapter 6: Whiskey and Misdeeds**

Sometimes Axel could be so _fucking _moody.

Roxas wasn't sure if it was mostly just in his head or what, but that week – if Axel had been a girl then Roxas would have accused him of PMSing. Roxas really didn't understand why he continued to put up with Axel's bullshit.

Case the first: the notes.

Now, Axel liked to pretend that he didn't give a shit about class, but he knew and everybody knew that none of the group, no matter how badass they acted, actually wanted to fail a grade or drop out of highschool. That would just be dumb.

However, Axel was lazy. He didn't like going to class and when he did show up he often slept through them. He was the classic case of the student that all the teachers had long since given up on. He didn't cause enough shit to get expelled, so they left him alone at the back of the class where he squeezed by in most of his subjects.

Usually he mooched notes off Marluxia, who was probably the most studious of the group. Roxas was completely baffled as to why Marluxia allowed Axel to copy his notes – really, Marluxia totally hated Axel's guts – but that was the way it happened.

For chemistry, though, the only one of the five who shared the class with Axel was Roxas, and when Axel was in a pinch before a test, he asked to borrow Roxas' notes.

"I don't take notes." Roxas replied flatly. They were standing in the hallway outside of the chemistry classroom. It was break and the halls were flooded with students, the collective bustle and chatter drowning out everything outside of a five-foot radius.

"You don't take notes?" Axel didn't seem like he was quite absorbing what was being said.

"I don't take notes. I listen." Roxas rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, they say it prepares you for university, but I think that's full of shit."

Roxas didn't know if it was actually about the notes or if Axel was just using them as an excuse to have a temper tantrum, but either way the redhead took that as his cue to throw a fit. "What the hell? You don't take notes? What am I supposed to do now? I'm going to fail the next test now!"

"Did you not hear me the first time, or what?" Roxas folded his arms across his chest, irritated. "I told you I don't take notes. I never take notes. If you want notes, them them yourself instead of being such a fucking leech!"

Axel looked so angry that Roxas was half-expecting him to do something dramatic like slam the locker with his fist and freak out the people in the hallway, but he didn't do anything. He just sagged a bit, and for the first time that day Roxas noticed the heavy bags under his eyes. Axel was even paler than usual – to be frank, he looked like shit.

Roxas didn't know how to ask if Axel was okay without it sounding weird, so he didn't say anything as Axel sighed and went back into the classroom.

Case the second: Namine.

Roxas had known Namine for a few months and had probably heard less than ten full sentences from her during that entire time. She didn't have to say anything, though – everyone in the school knew that she was epically fucked up. She was typically regarded with a mixture of morbid fascination and pity, though nobody said anything _out loud_ because if Marluxia got word of it then there would be shit to pay.

Roxas only ever heard bits and pieces of the tail-ends of half-arguments, but he slowly came to figure out that there was some kind of weird shit between Axel and Namine. (Not that there wasn't weird shit between Axel and Marluxia, Axel and Larxene, Axel and his mother, hell, Axel and everybody – but the weird shit between Axel and Namine just happened to be of a different and more distinctive flavour.)

Of course nobody was forthcoming in all the gory details and Roxas wasn't shameless enough to needle the gang about it, so it was actually a few months before he got the story in its entirety.

It was one of those rare Saturday afternoons when there hadn't been a party the previous night and Axel had called up Roxas, asking to meet the blond at the park near the local elementary school.

"What are we going to do at the park?" Roxas asked, unamused. "Ride on the sproingy ponies?"

"Just show up. You'll see when you get there." Axel then hung up abruptly, as he was wont to do.

Having nothing else to do (except homework that he really didn't feel like touching right now), Roxas donned his jacket and shoes, checked the mirror for remnants of pillow head and started down the street. It was about a twenty-minute walk, but Axel's walk was further, and when Roxas showed up the playground was dead and barren. There probably would have been kids on it if it had been warmer out, but right now the wind was being a nippy little bitch and all those kids were probably being smart and staying inside to play videogames or something.

Bored and cold, Roxas' feet crunched the gravel as he meandered over to one of the aforementioned sproingy ponies and threw a leg over it, taking a seat and rocking gently.

This playground was one of those old gems that didn't get torn up because it was made of wood and metal instead of plastic and therefore somehow 'unsafe'. As such, it had all the cool pieces. Monkey bars that were high enough that a thirteen-year-old boy's feet wouldn't touch the ground at the apex, one of those rope-glider things that had even more height and a vomit-coloured bucket that could sometimes pinch in six (if they were young and skinny enough) and spun around fast enough that weaker souls would eventually have their pants vomit-coloured as well – it was all there. The sproingy ponies were the lamest part of the whole ensemble, really.

Roxas sat on the pony, sproinged a little, and contemplated the merits of various playground items until Axel showed up. He had not, however, been expecting company. _Especially _not company of the giggly under-thirteen sort.

Axel looked quite put-upon as he trudged after his two little sisters, the girls breaking into a run as soon as they got near the playground, immediately scrambling up the wooden ladder to the highest point of the structure.

Roxas eyed Axel from his pony as the redhead stalked over to sit on the adjunct sproingy cow. "If this was your idea of a good time, then your taste in fun kind of stinks."

"It wasn't," Axel moped. "Mom left out of the blue and now I have to babysit. Yay."

"So what was it you were planning to do, anyway?" Roxas asked.

"Oh, nothing special. We can do it some other time." Axel had pulled his legs up so his knees were hooked over the handlebars and his feet dangled over the cow's cartoonishly distorted face.

"Okay then." They sat in silence for quite a while after that, sproinging gently while Relm and Eiko amused themselves with some sort of bizarre, elaborate mutation of grounders and don't wake daddy that really only made sense to them.

Eventually the little pair decided that their game _vitally needed_ the involvement of Axel and Roxas. With much whining, tugging, and the rampant abuse of puppy-dog eyes, the boys were roped into walking around the playground with their eyes closed. After hitting his head on the monkey bars and stubbing his toe twice, Roxas stubbornly withdrew from their little game.

Suppressing his curses of agony for the sake of the youngsters, Roxas hobbled back to his pony and hunched over it once again.

"Roxie's no fun!" Eiko complained, and Roxas winced at what he suspected would become a fond nickname. "Nami used to play with us _all _the time."

"Nami?" Roxas asked.

"Namine!" Relm piped up. "She used to be Axel's _girl_friend." She dragged out the word like it was something scandalous.

"But don't worry, Roxie, you're much cuter than her." Eiko batted her eyes in a way that was both ridiculous and adorable at the same time.

"You went out with Namine?" Roxas was incredulous. It was weird enough trying to picture Axel with a girl – Axel was pretty... _flaming_, even without the tight emo pants, but even if Axel had gone out with a girl for a while Roxas figured that someone like, well, Larxene would be more Axel's type. Roxas couldn't even picture Axel and Namine having a conversation, much less making out.

Ugh, he didn't want to think about that. Just – _ew._

"Yeah." Axel was looking at the gravel with his arms crossed, obviously not wanting to talk about it. Of course, that only made Roxas want to hear the details more. And why the hell hadn't he heard about this before?

"Um, _why?_"

"You jealous?" Axel slapped on a grin.

Roxas snorted. "And why would I be? You're obviously not dating her now. Why the hell would you do it in the first place?"

Axel shrugged. "I dunno."

"Oh, don't be a retard," Roxas wouldn't have been able to believe this level of asshattery coming out of anyone by Axel. "You just forgot why you were going out with her? I mean, was she hot, at least? Wild in the sack?"

The extreme levels of sarcasm in Roxas' tone must not have reached Axel, because the older boy marched towards Roxas' pony and gave the poor metal creature a fierce shove with his foot, bending the pony over backwards and sending the unsuspecting Roxas to topple off its back end onto the unforgiving gravel, scarcely avoiding getting hit on the nose when the pony sproinged back in the other direction.

"Shut the fuck up! I don't want to talk about it, okay?" Axel yelled and his sisters, momentarily forgotten, turned to stare at the outburst.

Everything after that was weighted down with extreme amounts of awkward, so eventually Roxas left and Axel and his entourage presumably went home shortly after. Roxas, who was actually starting to get _used_ to Axel's neuroticisms, thought little of it until later that night, when Axel climbed in his window. Yes, _climbed in his window._

Now, Roxas lived in an apartment building. He was not on the first floor. "How the _shit_ did you get in here?" Roxas whisper-hissed after his initial panicked terror, as he woke up in the middle of the night with a stranger shrouded in darkness climbing through the window and into his room. The flash of a car's headlights passing through the window, revealing a head of very distinctive red hair, only took the level of his panic down one or two notches.

"Through the window." Axel sat on the ledge, the old-fashioned shutters swinging wide and letting very cold past-midnight air into the room as the boy toed off his shoes without undoing the horribly knotted laces.

"I figured that out, dipshit!" Roxas was quickly veering around the corner from terrified to furious as he sat up in bed. He was only wearing a pair of pajama pants and the wind was practically freezing his bare chest. "Just close the damn window already."

"You're not gonna kick me out?"

Roxas grumbled and pawed around on the floor for a semi-clean shirt. "You wouldn't leave anyway," he said as he pulled it over his head.

Axel didn't reply to that: he just turned around and pulled the shutters closed as commanded.

"How did you get up here?" Roxas demanded once again.

"I climbed up the fire escape."

"How did you know which apartment I was in?"

"Larxene told me." Roxas and Larxene occasionally walked home together. She had even been inside Roxas' apartment, once. She claimed it was because she had to pee really bad and she couldn't hold it until she got home, but she had gone into the bathroom with her backpack and after she had left, Roxas had noticed that half the toilet paper was gone. Hobo bitch.

"Why the hell are you here?!"

Axel took a little bit longer to answer that one. "Will you sleep with me?"

Roxas barely managed to smother the volume of his hissing as he stood up and walked over to look Axel straight in the eye. The worst thing right now would be for his mother to wake up. "You came all the way here and _broke _into my _room_ because you want to _fuck?_"

"No!" Axel waved his hands frantically. "I just want to sleep with you. Clothes on and everything, I promise." His tone was almost _pleading._

Roxas was beyond skeptical. "Are you high?" he asked. "You're totally fucked up right now, aren't you."

"No!" Axel repeated, waving his hands even more frantically. "I'm not doing anything! Please." Axel put his hands on Roxas' shoulders almost in a tentative, almost timid manner, as if he were afraid Roxas would brush them off. "I'll be gone in the morning before you even wake up, I promise."

Roxas was incredibly weirded out by the entire situation and was not keen at all on Axel's little idea, but what little he could see of Axel's face in the darkness crumbled any and all resistance. Saying no would be like kicking... well, if it was a puppy it was the kind of puppy that peed on your brand new shoes and really made you _want_ to kick it, but morality and cuteness prevented you from actually doing it – yes, that kind of puppy. He noticed that Axel wasn't even wearing a jacket and was still shivering a bit from the cold.

"Fine. Just don't to anything weird. I'm not in the mood." Roxas turned his back to the other boy and climbed back into bed, and Axel hesitated for a moment before following, lying down on is side facing Roxas but leaving just enough space so that they weren't touching.

Roxas didn't think very hard before saying, "Oh, for God's sake" and squirming backwards towards Axel, reaching back to grab one of the older boy's goose-pimpled arms and pull them around his waist. Axel seemed surprised but not unhappy, wriggling close to his friend and tucking his nose into the nape of Roxas' neck.

They lay like that for a while, Roxas still a bit too on edge to sleep, before Axel broke the silence.

"I really don't know why I went out with her," he said. "She just asked and everyone thought it was a good idea so I said yes. It was like something I should be doing. I wasn't serious or anything. But..." A pause. "...She was."

"How am I supposed to tell what that stupid girl is thinking anyway?" Axel's arm wrapped a little tighter around Roxas' middle. "She never talks. The 'dates' we went on were so lame. I told her we should break up. How the hell could I know she was going to try and kill herself?"

Roxas was tense as Axel continued. "Marluxia was so fucking pissed. He said I was using her. I don't know if he has a thing for Namine or what, but he fucking hates me for what happened. But I didn't do anything to her. I didn't make her do it! It's not my fault, right?" The last word trailed off weakly and Axel's grasp loosened just a tad.

Roxas figured there was some kind of a 'right thing' to say at a moment like this, some kind of deep and moving comment that would put Axel at ease, but he didn't really know what it was, and so he said nothing.

As Axel fell asleep, Roxas contemplated the situation. Truth be told, as much as Axel emitted puppy-vibes, the redhead was so volatile and downright unpredictable that Roxas had trouble taking everything the other boy said at face value. Obviously Axel's issues went a little deeper than tonight had shown, but what was at that point a niggling sensation that there was something he didn't know would later grow as he began to recognize Axel's penchant for covering up one issue with another and making both worse in the process.

The last thought in his mind as he fell asleep, pondering his bizarre un-relationship that had started out as a random fuckbuddy and now apparently had morphed him into some kind of babysitter/psychologist mutation, was a simple four-letter word.

_Fuck._

xxx

True to his word, Axel was gone the next morning before Roxas' eyes cracked open. Well, that was something to be relieved about, anyway.

Roxas lazed about in bed for at least another hour, pulling a pillow over his head when he heard the shrill sound of the phone ringing.

"Sora!" his mother called. Sunday was her day off when she wasn't on a business trip. "Are you awake? Your friend Larxene is on the phone."

Roxas moaned and dragged himself out of bed, eyes squinting and bleary as he went to the living room to take the phone from his mother.

"Gya?" he made a sort of acknowledging noise into the reciever.

"Don't tell me you just got up," Larxene said. "It's almost one and I know there was nothing on last night – unless you've got a naughty story to tell me?"

"Oh, shut up. Did you call to mock me, or is there a point to this?"

"Oh yes, there is a point. Come down to my place and I will tell all." Larxene seemed to be enjoying her adopted air of mystery.

If she had been there to see it, Roxas would have rolled his eyes. "Can I know what kind of tortures you'll inflict on me before I'm locked in your basement?"

"Nope." Larxene said brightly. "Just come." And with that she hung up.

Sigh.

When Roxas got to Larxene's place, going round the back to open door to the basement suite she lived in, it turned out that everyone was already there. Marluxia's greeted him with a flat, "Hi" from the couch and Axel, sitting beside Marluxia, merely gave him a wave and a 'yo'. Demyx, hunched over a beanbag chair on the floor, was too involved in what seemed to be some excruciatingly difficult side-scroller on an honest-to-God original Nintendo to even notice Roxas entered the building.

"Wonderful!" Larxene exclaimed as she opened the door to admit him. "We can't start the main event without the guest of honour!"

Roxas resisted the urge to walk back out the way he had come. "Guest... of honour?"

"Yes!" Larxene said, obviously excited about something, before she brought it down suddenly into a tone of mock-solemnity. "Roxas, it has become very clear that there is something seriously wrong with you."

"And that is...?" Roxas, noticing a bowl of chips on the coffee table, ambled over to it and took a handful, munching as he listened to Larxene's impassioned speech.

"You're not truly one of us, Roxas. Yes, we hang out, but you're still not _with_ us, not yet."

"So this is initiation then? Hazing?"

Demyx's cry of agony and a series of sad bleeping noises briefly interrupted their dialogue before Larxene continued. "This is so much more than hazing. _So much more._" She dashed out of the room and came back with something that took Roxas a few moments to recognize.

When recognition finally hit, his stomach took no time in sinking straight to the bottom of his feet. "No."

"_Yes_," Larxene said, and Demyx, now having now given up on his game, joined in.

"You don't match our colour scheme, Roxas," said Demyx, expression grave. "Your hair looks too real, too _natural._ Join us, Roxas."

Roxas' eyes darted around wildly, landing on Demyx and Larxene's bleached heads and Marluxia's carefully groomed mop of pink.

"Yes, even I succumbed," Marluxia said, noting Roxas' panic. "It's not that bad, really. There's a moment of pain, and then everything becomes light..."

Axel snickered despite himself. "Obviously I'm a cut above you fakers. I'm _all natural_... but you know that already, don't you, Roxas?" Axel winked in a manner that went beyond suggestive and into the endless chasm of perverted.

"You guys are crazy," Roxas said, despite recognizing the hopelessness of the situation.

"Or is it _you_ who is crazy, and we who are sane?" Larxene grinned like a cat that had just got the cream, and Roxas knew it was all over.

After much literal hair-pulling, shirt-ruining and sitting on the couch with a towel on his head, Roxas became a blonde. He mused in a rather detached fashion about how he would explain this to his father. Or Kairi.

_Well, I just kind of felt like it, _he would say. _It's not like I dyed my hair blue or anything._

xxx

The first couple classes of the next day went by without event, but Roxas was pulled swiftly from his state of bored stupor the moment he saw an all-too familiar face in the cafeteria at lunch. He froze, uncomprehending for a moment, thinking _maybe_ he was just seeing things –

– but no. Roxas spun around and left the cafeteria the way he had come, a baffled Demyx (who had been walking with him then as they headed toward the usual table) not noticing his friend had gone until he had almost reached the lineup. "Roxas?" Demyx walked back, but it seemed the younger boy had disappeared. Confused but hungry, Demyx went back to the lineup to grab his grub.

After loading himself down largely with food of the sweet and rather unhealthy variety, Demyx bypassed the usual table and headed over to where his brother was sitting at an empty table by himself. "Kain!" He bounded over and set his tray on the table, ruffling his younger brother's hair in the oblivious way that small children pet cats backwards. Demyx then waved wildly over to where Larxene, Axel and Marluxia were sitting, beckoning them over. "Let me introduce you to my friends!"

As the other three got themselves settled, Demyx gestured to each of them. "Larxene, Axel, and Marluxia. Usually Roxas is here, but he, uh, disappeared. Guys, this is my brother Kain. He's staying with me and Uncle Cid for a while."

"What happened to Roxas now?" Axel asked. Larxene looked vaguely interested in the newcomer, while Marluxia merely looked politely bored.

Demyx pondered. "Well, I was walking down the hallway with him, I got to the cafeteria, turned around, and he was gone. So yeah, he disappeared."

"I'm going to look for him." Axel swung his legs over the bench and began to make his way out of the caf, leaving the others (and his lunch) behind.

As a child, Roxas had probably been the kid who was found first whenever they played hide and seek. Axel found him in 'The Shed', looking sulky and hungry.

"Dude, what's up?" Axel asked. Roxas didn't dignify him with a response as Axel flopped down on the dusty floorboards, his skinny legs sprawled out as he sat. "It's not... 'cause of the other night?"

"No." Roxas said, mind desperately calculating, running around in circles, trying to formulate some sort of excuse. "I just wasn't hungry." His stomach chose that moment to deny Roxas' statement.

"Riiiiight." Axel began picking at a sliver on the edge of one of the floorboards. "Try again."

Then and there Roxas realized that he didn't really have any good excuses, and anything he said was just going to dig him a deeper grave. But he had to try. "I don't feel like going Let's go get pizza or something."

"Oh, for – there's pizza in the caf! – I don't give a shit what your deal is, I'm hungry!" Axel grabbed Roxas by the wrist and then proceeded to drag him bodily out of the shack and back into the school.

"Stop it, you asshole! I told you I'm not hungry!"

"This conversation is so beyond retarded."

A growing sense of dread began to envelop Roxas as he was dragged to the table. This sense of dread only increased as he realized that Kain was sitting with the others. Shit, shit, and shit.

"There he is!" Demyx waved.

Axel, still gripping Roxas' wrist, strode over to the table. "What'd I miss?"

"Apparently, I'm now a pimp," Marluxia said, taking a bite of his sandwich.

"And you're his boytoy," added Demyx, pointing at Axel. "This is what happened when you leave. And Roxas! Meet my brother, Kain."

Kain turned around to meet him, eyes going wide as he opened his mouth to speak. "So –"

"So yeah, I'm Roxas!" Roxas said loudly. "Weird name, I know, but what do you expect from ex-hippie parents?" A few tacked-on laughs and the most powerful, intense _shut the fuck up_ glare of his life accompanied the end of his sentence.

Roxas' telepathy seemed to be working, as Kain seemed to get that for whatever reason he was supposed to play along – though he didn't look thrilled at the idea. "Ah, um, yeah, S – Roxas, nice to meet you."

Kain was such a terrible liar, but somehow they were buying it.

"So where'd you disappear to, Roxas?" Demyx asked innocently as Roxas and Axel seated themselves at the table beside Kain.

"I had to take a leak," Roxas said, avoiding Axel's gaze. "So Axel's Marluxia's boytoy, huh?" He changed the conversation. "I hope he's getting paid. I could use some smack."

Larxene reached across the table and smacked him, hard. "Hey!" Roxas protested, cheek stinging.

She grinned. "You left yourself wide open for that one."

"Aw, let me kiss it better." Axel leaned over and initiated a brilliant makeout session, drawing a hoot from Demyx.

"That wasn't my cheek," Roxas panted after Axel released him. If he had been fully aware of his surroundings at that moment he would have noticed Kain, who was sitting beside him, glaring daggers into his back.

Lunchtime went by without further incident, though Kain was mostly silent during the usual lunchroom banter (unless prodded by Demyx) but Roxas made a point of finding out what Kain's final class of the day was.

After the final bell rang, Roxas made a beeline for Kain's classroom, making eye contact with the other boy, waiting for all the other students and the teacher to leave before he began.

"What are you doing here?" Roxas cut to the chase.

Kain was angry, and had good right to be. "I think that what I'm doing here is about as much your concern as your name here is mine, _Roxas._"

Roxas forced himself to calm down. Getting into a fight with Kain was not how he wanted to go about this. "Okay, okay, point made. I don't really give a shit right now what happened with you. All I want to do is make sure that you know my name is Roxas. You've never met me before today. Okay?"

"I don't like this," Kain replied, still upset. "This is about more than just your name. You're different here, Sora" – a glare – "Roxas, your personality, your – your _hair_, and _especially _that skinny redhead you seem to be so fond of. I don't know what's going on, but it makes me feel just a little bit ill."

"Keep Axel out of this. And you can feel as ill as you like if you keep your mouth shut," Roxas snapped.

Kain grabbed Roxas' collar, yanking him forward, and Roxas remembered that behind all the control and the rigidity and the honour was a guy who seriously needed a few anger management classes. "I'm not going to 'keep Axel out of this'. Any fool could see that Kairi is completely in love with you, and I used to think you cared for her, too." Kain left one sentence unspoken, one that cut a little too deep – _I envied you, your relationship. I thought you two were perfect together. _"I used to think you were a nice guy, Sora. I counted you as a friend. But this – this _dishonesty _has made me realize that you're nothing but a fraud. I'll play your little game, if only because when everything finally comes clean in the end – and it _will_ – you will have a hundred times further to fall. You repulse me, _Roxas_," Kain let go and Roxas staggered backwards as Kain left without another word, slamming the door behind him.

Roxas stood there for a moment, leaning against the wall and trying to collect himself. It was true, after all, everything that Kain said – whatever his original intentions were on either side, it had all spiraled out of control. When it came right down to it he was a cheating bastard and he couldn't even say that it was just sex because it _wasn't _just sex, it had gotten wrapped up in so many other things and if he wanted to get laid so badly then why didn't he just have sex with Kairi? Riku was right, she had offered, she _wanted_ him and he was too much of a weenie to go and do her because he didn't want to have sex on the first date or in a car? What the hell, he had known her since they were kids. She was more _right _than Axel would ever be, Axel with his family issues and his ex-girlfriend issues, Axel who was probably going to either drop out of highschool or barely pass, never going to university and probably end up as a janitor for some office building filled with aging mediocrity. Axel, who partied more than he studied and talked more than he thought, Axel whom pretty much everybody hated on a certain level because he was _such a fucking prick _all the time.

Roxas didn't know why he was doing this anymore, there wasn't a good reason for continuing this charade – he was just like a drug addict after the highs stopped being fun, he was doing it because he'd been doing it for too long and it was too late and he had to.

ooo

I fully admit it, I repeatedly referenced 'gin and sin' by archy the cockroach in this chapter. (All in good humor!) If you haven't read it for some CRAZY reason, read it now. It is awesome and better than anything I can write. That fic and 'Marigold' by Falaphesian are what made me want to write an AkuRoku KH AU in the first place.


	7. Shinra Bank Tellers

Many thanks to all my lovely reviewers! You guys are seriously awesome. And props to Sarah-anon for catching the Aquabats references. (Seriously, they are awesome. If you like ska or lulz, there are no excuses for not giving them a shot!)

**How to Become a Nobody**

**Chapter 7: Shinra Bank Tellers**

Reno had worked for old man Shinra for nearly twenty years, right up until the banker's death, and it was fairly safe to say that he hated the bastard's fat ass with a fiery passion, which was why he didn't really care when he got offed. One boss was as good as another, and even though this Sephiroth guy kinda freaked him out, at least he left his henchmen alone (as long as they didn't fuck up, of course. Reno hadn't fucked up yet under the new boss and he didn't really want to find out what would happen to him if he did).

So for the most part, business went on as usual. But Sephiroth was in deep, deeper than Shinra had ever been – Reno didn't know what was up, but even he, one of the long-timers, was thinking he might jump town – both towns, leave _everything – _when the shit went down – and he had a feeling that it would. Even Tseng was catching the bad vibe, though everyone had a lot to lose if they did leave Shinra Bank.

Nobody worked for Shinra because they wanted to. Occasionally some naïve young kid would come up to one of the two branches (though the Traverse Town more than the Twilight Town one – the Twilight branch was in a shady part of town and attracted more of the 'looking for a loan' sort than the 'looking for a job' sort) with a resume in hand. All the employees would have a nice chuckle and then the kid would be patted on the head and sent away with the line, "Sorry, we're full-staffed right now." ...which was a lie. They never had enough hands.

The employees of Shinra's bank weren't just tellers, you see. They also did... other things. Some of it was just a little innocent bodyguard work. Sometimes people took a little too long paying their loans, and they had to be... _convinced_ into paying up. Reno and co. are the ones who did the convincing.

Every single one of Shinra's 'Turks', as they called themselves (it was an old, bad joke involving the worst Christmas dinner ever and stale chocolate bars) was in Shinra's employ either because they owed the man money or because they had been blackmailed into it. Reno was a member of the core group – the ones who had been there longest and the ones who would never leave.

Take Tseng, for example. Tseng had once played the stock market like a fiddle – he took the highest risks and got the highest payoffs, but just one time he bet too much on a stock worth too little and lost everything: the wife, the white picket fence and even the damned dog. He had gone to Shinra, hoping for a loan to get back on track, but the biggest loans with Shinra always came with fine print. After a few years Tseng had found out that where his house had been there was a strip mall, his wife was getting nailed by a guy with a bigger paycheque and a bigger penis than he had, and even the damn dog was dead. With nothing to go back to, Tseng had had no reason to leave.

Then there was Rude. Rude, with his snappy suit, dark sunglasses and bald head polished to a shine, looked exactly like what it was he used to be: a hitman. Pay him enough and he'd knock _anybody_ off – of course, when you're working with the mob, that could be a dangerous game to play,_especially _when you break the rules like Rude did and take someone out for personal reasons instead of money. Long story short, he was on the run from some big names in crime and had had to go into hiding for a while – which he had been doing quite smashingly well until Shinra walked in with a dangerous amount of information and a cell phone with the numbers of all the brothers of mobsters that Rude had ever done. "Work for me," Shinra had said, "And I'll keep you safe."

Yeah, keep him safe like a cat carrying a mouse around in its mouth keeps the little thing safe from other cats.

For his own part – well, Reno had some money issues. A lot of money issues, actually. He was just a risk-taker by nature, he lived on the edge, he liked it crazy and wild and gambling just wasn't _fun_ unless you bet with the highest stakes.

It had started out with, "Yeah, I owe him a little bit of money. I can pay it off, no problem. But it was always a little bit and there was always a little bit _more_ until finally Reno realized that he'd be in debt to old man Shinra for the rest of his life. It was of those realizations that came when you look in the mirror, remember that you need to buy more hair dye because you've got more white streaks in your hair again (at least you're not bald like that poor sap Rude) because you just turned forty and you're pretty much fucked for good.

...and then there was Elena. She was the only one whose reasons for working for Shinra Reno had never found out. He probably never would.

Reno was past the stage where he would go to the bar without Rude and get pissed so that he would have an excuse for doing something pansy like crying. (He was also past the stage where he would go to the bar_with_ Rude and bawl his eyes out.) He was past the stage where he would rage at Elena's memory for everything that had ever gone wrong in his life and past the stage where he would actually forsake sex for weeks at a time because it wasn't her. He was past the stage where he blamed her for anything at all.

Mostly he tried not to think about her anymore. Life was easier when it was just him with Rude at his back (or on _his_ back, nyuk nyuk) and Tseng off to the side pretending to be the boss (everyone humored him). Every once in a while there was a funky newbie to show the ropes to and keep things fresh.

Dealing with one of said newbies was what Reno was doing at the moment, actually. It was after hours at the Traverse Town branch and Reno was was trying to whip the new guy into shape so he could handle being left without a babysitter for a few hours. Xigbar had taken surprisingly well to the 'other' part of the job (he was a fucking brilliant shot, for one, and Reno was actually starting to take to the guy), but as a teller? He failed miserably. It was really hard to be a bank teller when you couldn't handle basic math. Or use a computer.

"You – well, frankly, you _suck._" Reno was standing behind Xigbar, who was seated at one of the computers with a mangled screen of numbers and a blank expression on his face. "Did you even graduate from high school?"

Xigbar smiled sheepishly, his one eye twinkling with amusement at Reno's frustration. "Actually, I didn't."

"Ugh!" Reno resisted the urge to repeatedly slam his face into the wall. "ZEXION!"

Zexion appeared, wheeling on his spinny chair out from the rear cubicle where he was doing the day-end calculations. "Yes?"

"Teach this guy some math." Reno walked out of the room as he spoke, stepping into the cloakroom to get his jacket. "I can't take it anymore."

Xigbar raised the brow above his eyepatch, an odd effect. "What's this feeling I have surging through me now? Is it – a feeling of accomplishment?"

A snort came from the cloakroom and Reno emerged. "You need to get your priorities straight, dude. I'll see you later."

"You take all the fun work!" Xigbar yelled after him. A wave was his only reply as Reno pushed open glass door and left. "So." he looked at the guy who was to be his tutor in the ways of computers.

Zexion, seated in his spinny office chair with a firmly blank expression on his face, could have been the cover boy for 'Emokid Monthly' and had to be at least ten years younger than Xigbar. Gawd, the kid looked like he was sixteen. "Did _you_ graduate from highschool, emo boy?"

Zexion scowled as he rolled his chair toward Xigbar's computer. He was already starting to dislike his new coworker. "Yes. I'm nineteen. Nineteen's a bit old to be listening to whining, copypasta scream-angst about how much you hate your parents."

Xigbar was amused. (Then again, Xigbar was always amused). He looked down at the boy's pants. "Well, your pants are a wee bit loose to belong to your younger sister, but you're drowning in black clothing and you've got the hair and the face down."

Zexion scowled harder. "Black is practical. It doesn't stain. Stop trying to be young and hip. What are you, thirty? Can we just work on this now so we don't have to be here all night?"

Xigbar gasped. "You wound me. I'm twenty eight – the prime of my life! I've never felt younger or more beautiful."

Zexion really tried to prevent his left eye from twitching spasmodically, he really did. "The sexual prime for human males is twenty-one, actually," he muttered under his breath. "Can we_ please_ get this done already?" he repeated, rolling his chair closer to the screen and pushing Xigbar's chair aside.

Xigbar pretended that he didn't hear that remark. "So, nineteen, that's good. Wanna go out drinking?"

"So first, you have to calculate the interest of the subtotal," Zexion cut in, attempting to drown out the stupid. "You do this by –" he stopped, turned his chair around, and looked at Xigbar. "Are you hitting on me?"

"You're the one nearing your sexual prime, you tell me." Xigbar grinned and plopped his chin on his hand, his elbow resting on the arm of his chair.

Zexion _really_ wanted to get this over with. "You _do this by_..."

Somehow, eventually they actually started getting work done and Xigbar stopped being an asstard and started getting the computer system (and maybe a little bit of math, too).

"Wait a minute –" Xigbar jammed his pointer finger against the screen. "Stop right there. That – I know a monkey could do algebra better than me, but it doesn't take a monkey to figure out that that number's high. _Really _high."

"You're more intelligent than you look," Zexion remarked. "Well, let me let you in on something. What do you know about Sephiroth?"

Xigbar scratched his head. "Not much, really. He's the boss. He has a lot of money. He's really freaky, and he has a thing for blond highschool boys?" He paused. "...Wait a minute, did you just insult me?"

"Do you even read the newspaper, ever?" Zexion ignored Xigbar's question. "Okay, let me start from the beginning. I'm sure you're_ well_ aware by this point that this is not a normal bank."

"A normal bank wouldn't have hired me," Xigbar pointed out.

"Exactly," said Zexion. "I've only been here for about a year, so don't know as much history as Reno and the others do, but I've done my share of digging.

"The old president – Shinra – was the man that everyone loved to hate. He was a loan shark, to put it bluntly, though he had his hand in sports gambling rings. He used money and blackmail to get his staff – yes, us – and we were hired to do all his dirty work and keep our mouths shut about his dirty money.

"Then Shinra died. Nobody knows what happened, the body was never found, and it will probably go unsolved – on the official record, that is. To us, it was blatantly obvious. Sephiroth showed up immediately afterward and claimed ownership of the bank, under a contract –_signed by Shinra_ – that says he bought everything under the name of the 'Jenova Foundation'. But he didn't just have the money handled, he had us handled, and he knew about every dirty little secret the bank has ever hidden.

"Sephiroth works differently. You were hired by him and not Shinra – I assume you were supposed to keep tabs on us?"

Xigbar blinked for a moment, stunned, and then grinned a wolfish, toothy grin. "Sharp boy, aren't you, Zexy? I can't hide a thing from you. But you'll keep my secret, right?" Xigbar took Zexion's arm by the wrist and placed the boy's hand against his own chest, right over his heart. Zexion could feel the bulge of a gun holster. "An honest and true heart, you can feel it."

Zexion must have been made of sterner stuff than he looked, because he didn't even blink. "I'm not a fool."

"Good, I like that in a man." Xigbar let go.

"Boy, man, make up your mind," Zexion mumbled.

"What's that?" Xigbar cupped a hand to his ear. "I'm going deaf in my old age and I can't hear what you're saying."

"As I was saying," Zexion resumed. "Sephiroth works differently. Shinra liked to have people indebted to him – you never know when you'll need a favour. Sephiroth is calling in everything – in cash. There's an incredible amount of money here right now, a _dangerous_ amount of money, if we ever get assessed, but Sephiroth doesn't seem to care. It looks like he needs money for something, but I don't know what for. I'm afraid – yes, actually _afraid_ – that when whatever he has planned happens, all of us, in the worst case scenario, are going to end up dead."

It must have been convenient for Xigbar, having an eyepatch that concealed half of his expression at all times. It made everything so much harder to read. "You're a smart boy. I'm sure you'll survive."

Zexion's expression was dark. "I plan on it."

It was quite late by the time Zexion was satisfied that Xigbar wouldn't crash the computer just by looking at it, and the two were heading out the door, alarm system ready to go, when Xigbar spoke up. "What about you?"

"What about me what?" Zexion asked.

"You said Shinra used blackmail to get his staff. What kind of dirt does he have on you?" Xigbar stood outside the door as Zexion took out his keys and shuffled through them before locking it and jiggling the doors to make sure.

"Didn't Sephiroth tell you all that already?" Zexion sounded just a tad bitter.

Xigbar shook his head. "No, he was more worried about the old-timers. Tseng and them."

"Ah." Zexion paused, weighing the situation. ..._oh, hell, why not. _"I've been a hacker since I was twelve. I traded information for amusement rather than money. ...I didn't know what the fuck I was getting into." It was the first time Xigbar had heard Zexion curse, and it was jarring. "It was a total fluke that Shinra got my personal information. A total, _total_ fluke. How was I supposed to know my stupid brother would shop online on _my computer,_ using his freaking credit card?" Zexion's calm demeanor began to crack a bit as his anger seeped through. "If I don't work for Shinra Bank, that credit card information gets released and my brother's dead." Zexion glared at Xigbar. "I can't betray Shinra Bank, ever. Take that back to Sephiroth," he spat.

Zexion's hand hurt; he noticed that he was clenching his fists and that his keys were digging into his palm. Shoving the keys into a pocket in his messenger bag, Zexion turned around was about to go home when Xigbar stopped him from behind with a hand on his shoulder. "Dude, chill. I don't need to report to Sephiroth what everyone had for breakfast." He let go. "Go home, have a shower and jerk off at least once. Maybe you'll stop being so uptight."

Zexion couldn't suppress a smirk, though Xigbar could only see his back. "I'll be fantasizing about you while I masturbate."

Xigbar paused. "Really?"

"No." Zexion started walking. "I'll see you tomorrow, Xigbar. Try not to suck so much then."

"Can't guarantee anything," Xigbar replied as he watched Zexion go. Funny kid.

xxx

As predicted, first thing Monday morning while Sora, Riku and Kairi were walking to school, Kairi freaked out.

"What did you do do your hair?! She exclaimed. "It's - _blonde._"

Sora chuckled nervously. "Uh, yeah. I thought it would be cool."

"You look weird," Riku said bluntly. "Different."

"Almost like another person," Kairi agreed. "It's kind of freaky."

"Uh, well, it'll grow back, right?" _Please don't ask for details please don't ask for details -_

"You're probably better off shaving your head." Riku deadpanned.

"Hey!" Sora protested, but that seemed to be (thankfully) the end of that. There were more important things to discuss. For once, Sora was actually interested in hearing what the rumormill had to say, and the rumormill was only too glad to oblige. Sora was dying to ask Kairi what had happened with Kain. "He was going to school in the other town, but he didn't tell me why," Sora said. "It's been killing me all week."

"So that's where he went!" Kairi chortled with glee. She tried to tone it down around Sora, but at heart she loved some good gossip just as much as Yuna. "The entire school has been abuzz with rumors about him and Rosa."

Though much of Sora's goodwill towards Kain had eroded due to their previous encounter, he couldn't help but be curious and a little bit concerned. "What happened?"

"Well, basically..." Kairi looked like she was trying to soften the blow, seeing as Sora was supposedly friends with Kain. "Kain kinda made a scene."

Sora was unbearably curious. "A scene? Come on, don't keep me hanging like this!"

"He totally beat the crap out of Cecil," Riku cut in. They were fighting about Rosa. His parents flipped and now he's apparently living with his uncle Cid."

Kairi shot Riku a dirty look for stealing her spotlight. "Yeah, that's it. Rosa's all shook up over it, too, but she won't talk about the details, and neither will Cecil."

_Probably because she doesn't want Kain to be the spectacle of the week_, Sora thought, but kept his mouth shut on the matter.

Riku, on the other hand, had no such compunctions. "It's not really our business, you know."

Kairi scowled at Riku. "Maybe so, but I'm still worried about Rosa. She won't even say if she and Kain are still together or not. It's frustrating."

Riku rolled his eyes and let it drop. "Whatever."

At lunch the three of them had planned to work on their act for the talent show together, but Kairi backed out at the last minute, as she had to talk with one of the teachers about an extra-curricular project of hers.

"But you guys should practice without me," she said. "We've been working on the costumes so much that we've neglected the play part of it."

"You mean _you've _been working on the costumes so much," Riku replied dryly.

"Details, details," she waved her hand in dismissal. "And don't be afraid to make changes to the script if you need to. It's a living, breathing creature. Development is natural."

"Now you're really freaking me out. Is this a play or your baby?"

Kairi didn't reply, only laughing as she walked down the hallway.

And so it was that Sora and Riku ended up together in the empty classroom again (this time fully clothed, thankfully), skimming over the script that – let's face it – Kairi had written most of.

"This script makes no sense," Riku said. "I have no idea what is going on. And what the hell is with this ending?"

Sora hovered behind Riku's shoulder as his friend read the script. Truth be told, he didn't get it much either. "It's, uh... supposed to be symbolic?"

"Symbolic of what?" Riku flung the script down on the nearest desk in exasperation. "All I can figure out is that I'm some kind of hero and you're supposed to be evil."

"Wait – wait a minute!" Sora picked up the sheets that Riku had dropped and started leafing through them again. "That can't be right."

Riku snickered. "Dude, read it. She doesn't even spare her darling boyfriend. I die heroically for the kingdom and you're the false usurping prince."

"But I chose blue!" Sora protested, adamant. "And you're red. Everyone knows that Jedis get red light sabers once they become Sith lords."

"...when your concepts of good and evil are lifted out of Star Wars, you _know_ there's something wrong with your moral compass." Riku poked his friend playfully before seating himself on one of the desks in the classroom. "Ugh. I don't feel like doing anything right now. We can't really practice without Kairi, anyway."

Sora sighed and put the script down again. "I guess."

They sat in silence for a while, without an excuse to leave or the will to rehearse. Sora sat down on the floor and started playing with his shoelaces, untying them and then tying them again, doing them up in knots.

"What kind of stuff happened when I was gone?"

Sora was snapped out of his idle reverie. "Huh? Oh, you mean when you were out of town? ...nothing much, really. I mean, now that you ask I can't think of anything special..." he trailed off.

"I can't help feel like I was missing out, you know? Like... aw, never mind."

"No, no, what?" Sora wanted to know. "I'm sure whatever you did out of town was more exciting than anything that happened here. Nothing ever happens here, really."

Riku looked oddly troubled. "That's – that's the thing. I can't remember any of it."

Sora's immediate reaction was to blow off Riku's statement as total bullshit. "Oh, come on."

"See, this is why I never brought this up," Riku said, a tinge of anger in his voice. "I knew you wouldn't believe me. Even my parents don't believe me. 'What are you talking about?' They said. 'We all moved away together for your father's job. We lived in an apartment just a block away from the school there. You played on the school's rugby team.'" Riku got up off the desk he had been seated on and started pacing back and forth. "I don't remember _any of it, _but I'm positive that's not what happened. All I know is that I left and then came back different."

Sora wasn't sure what to make of Riku's confession. "Different how?"

Riku stopped pacing for a moment. "Like – fuck, it's so hard to explain. It's like here, the entire town – it's made of something, and the place where I was was made of something so completely different that everything could be the same and yet not the same."

Sora tried to wrap his brain around what had just been said and utterly failed. "What?"

Riku let out a noise of pure, concentrated frustration. "It's – okay, let me put it this way. You go to the other town. You know how it's different there."

"Y-yeah, it's different, I guess but –"

"It's the people," Riku interrupted. "They're completely different from us. I know I'm gonna sound like a dick for saying this, but that's why your parents never worked out – your mom was from over there originally, right? She had to go back. She couldn't stay here."

"Ooookay, then," Sora was beginning to think that Riku was a little bit cracked.

"No, it's not okay! Just hear me out!" Riku was getting really worked up over this. "These two towns, whatever they are, they're not – they're not like _opposites_, they're more like pieces. Like two halves of a walnut shell – only we're missing the nut, Sora, we're missing the nut. That's what was out there, _the nut._ I went out and I found it, and then I came back and lost it again. Out there – it's – it's _light_ compared to the darkness here."

Sora was getting seriously weirded out. "You'd be a great cult leader, you know that?"

Suddenly Riku's expression was cut away and he went blank. "You know what, Sora? I'm sorry I brought this up. Forget about it. It's not important."

"Yeah, whatever." Sora said, feeling more than a little bit strange.

The two spent a few more awkward minutes together in the empty classroom before Riku left. "Make up some excuse for Kairi, okay? I'm going."

"Uh, sure." Sora said. Picking up the script that Kairi had written and looking at it one more time, Sora left the classroom shortly after, trying not to think about the things that Riku had said and how they had, on some deep, indefinable level, resonated with him. It was better for everyone if he just forgot about it.

xxx

After school, while he was waiting for Kairi and Riku at the usual spot near the parking lot, Sora was accosted by an incredibly frayed-looking Tifa.

"Sora!" She yelled, breaking into a run as soon as she saw him. "I know you haven't been here for the last week, so you probably don't know anything, but I was _hoping_ you could help, anything, _anything_ you've heard –"

"Whoa, whoa," Sora said, holding up his hands. "Slow down. What's this now?" Tifa looked like she was about to have a nervous breakdown.

Tifa stopped, forcing herself to take a few deep breaths before talking again. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling. I've just been so worried. I haven't seen Cloud for over two weeks now, and nobody knows where he is. His parents don't know – they called the police, and they're looking, but –"

"Calm down, he's probably not dead." Sora realized as soon as the words were out of his mouth that that was an incredibly stupid thing to say. "Uh – I mean! I'm sure he's fine. Physically. Um."

Tifa grabbed his shoulders, looking him straight in the eye, pleading. "Please, if you know _anything_, it doesn't matter how small – tell me."

"Well, I don't really know anything –" Tifa sagged. "– I just think... he's with that rich, long-haired guy."

"You've seen him?" Tifa asked sharply.

"Well..." Sora started to fidget, something he didn't do often. Tifa could be intimidating when she was angry or worried. "I mean, just once. I saw Cloud getting into this really expensive car, and this gorg – uh, kinda scary-looking guy with long, silver hair got all touchy with him. Cloud seemed kinda, um... infatuated?"

If gazes could kill, Tifa's would have stabbed Sora to death, and he wasn't even the target of her rage. "That –" she didn't finish. "...thank you, Sora. I appreciate it, I really do." And she left without another word.

xxx

It was early in the morning and the room was still dim; Sephiroth was sitting on the edge of the bed in a state of comfortable semi-undress, watching Cloud, who was curled up on his side facing Sephiroth, asleep. One of Sephiroth's favourite pastimes these days was watching Cloud as the boy slept. It wasn't because he was pretty, or peaceful – though he was, very much so – it was merely because Cloud was asleep, here, because Cloud trusted _him_ enough that he could sleep like a baby in the older man's presence. Sephiroth could do anything to Cloud while he was asleep, and even being aware of that, Cloud slept on. Sometimes Sephiroth thought that whatever Sephiroth did to Cloud in the night, in the morning Cloud would forgive everything.

It was a heady feeling, that.

Cloud was a fairly quiet boy, most of the time, choosing his words carefully and only speaking when words had meaning – something Sephiroth liked – but a few nights ago Cloud had said _it_ and Sephiroth felt like the world was his, because Cloud was his, every limb, every finger, every hair, every piece of his mind and soul. Sephiroth owned him in every sense of the word, and nothing in the world gave him better or more secure feeling than that.

Sephiroth was interrupted from his reverie by a knock on the bedroom door. "What is it?"

All the Turks knew by now not to walk in on his privacy. They always spoke through the door.

"Sir," came a voice, muffled through the wood. It was Tseng. God that man was full of himself. He was not Sephiroth's favourite lackey – but what could you do, the hired goons came with the territory. (Sephiroth was rather partial to Rude. The man knew when to keep his mouth shut. At least Tseng wasn't as bad as that buffoon Reno.) Tseng didn't go out on assignments very often – he was usually bodyguarding Sephiroth (not that he needed it, but being on your guard all the time plays hell on your nerves. Sephiroth had more important things to deal with, and besides, Tseng was a great cook.) Much as Sephiroth was irritated by the man, Reno was about as trustworthy as a heroin-addled convict and Rude was too close to Reno. Tseng was the only one Sephiroth trusted with his apartment keys. Or his private address, for that matter. "We've collected sums from most of the list you compiled. There's one left, but Rude's on the job and Reno's...out."

'Out' was Tseng's euphemism for 'the lazy ass is skipping out to gamble again'. Sephiroth was not pleased. "Send out the new one. What's his name again?"

"Xigbar."

"The one with the eyepatch. He could use some solo experience. Give him the info and send him out. If he can't handle it then get rid of him." Sephiroth was confident that Xigbar could handle it. He trusted his own judge of strength and character. Besides, Sephiroth needed the man, and good help was hard to come by.

"Understood." Sephiroth listened as Tseng moved away from the door, presumably calling Xigbar on his cell phone. Good, the man knew to give him space. Sephiroth didn't like it when goons hovered.

Sephiroth turned back to Cloud, careful not to bounce the bed as he lay down next to his young lover. He didn't touch Cloud – the boy was a light sleeper, and Sephiroth wanted to observe his sleeping face for a little while longer.

xxx

"Xigbar."

"Yo, Tseng. What's up?"

Tseng's lip curled just a little at Xigbar's casual, surfer-esque tone. "I've got a job for you."

"Awesome! It's about time I got some action."

"This_is_ a test. If you screw this up I'm not going to cover your back."

"It's all good. I know what I'm doing; I've done this kind of thing before. Trust me."

_I don't_. "I'll text you the details. Get it done as soon as possible if you know what's good for you."

"Don't worry, man. I've got it covered."

"Don't be rash. This one – she knows how to take care of herself."


	8. Payment

Sorry for the lack of updates – I had a lot of issues with plot holes that needed to be filled and I realized that I don't know jack shit about things like loan sharks. Oops, my bad. Thanks to all the lovely folks at orgplotbunny and littledetails on livejournal for helping me out with that!

I know the last chapter was sorely lacking in Sora/Roxas, and let me _assure _you that that will not continue to be the case. The characters (and okay, I'll admit it, I just really fucking love Zexion/Xigbar /is shot/), information and plot elements introduced were really necessary to the development of the story, which this chapter should make clear! Yes, this is the unveiling chapter where I kick the plot in the pants and shit starts hitting the fan. :D

And why yes, Axel's bullshitting was inspired by my own failure to complete the reading list for English. Protip: for any of you who aren't in university yet, as soon as you know your reading list, before class starts... START READING. You think you'll have time to read six novels once class starts? Ahaha. Haha. Ha. (Why can't I get credit for writing fanfiction? WHY?!)

**How to Become a Nobody**

**Chapter 8: Payment**

Xigbar hadn't been born with the face of an angel, and nearly thirty years of the sort of lifestyle you wouldn't write home to your mother about hadn't made him any prettier.

It late in the evening when Xigbar knocked on her door, which would have made her suspicious enough. Though it had been a long day at work and she was tired, the instant she saw the distorted vision of an unknown face, all eyepatch and scars through the peephole in the front door she was jolted into sharp awareness. She had a gun stashed in the next room above the washing machine, in a shoebox on a high shelf right next to the toxic cleaning liquids she didn't want the girls getting at.

"Just a minute!" she called as she checked the ammo before quickly tucking it in the waist of her pants at the small of her back, tugging her loose white-collar shirt over top. She opened the door. "Can I help you?"

Xigbar grinned in a way that might have been friendly or menacing, she couldn't tell. "Why yes you can, ma'am. I've come on behalf of mister Sephiroth, you see."

"I don't know anybody named Sephiroth." – was a lie. She hoped playing dumb might earn her some extra information, or at least some time to figure out what was up.

"Don't need to be coy, ma'am," Xigbar fished into the breast pocket of his long, graying overcoat – _that fold there, he's hiding at least two weapons –_ and pulled out a crumpled business card.

She took it, already knowing what she would see but hoping nonetheless that it was something else. Centered in bold letters on the card with no last name listed was, **Sephiroth. Shinra Bank.**

"I think you've got the wrong person." She handed the card back. Whoever this one was, she'd never seen him before, and if she was lucky she could bluff him out.

"No, ma'am, I think I got the right one," Xigbar replied, tucking his card back into his coat. "And mister Sephiroth is looking to collect."

"I've paid Shinra everything I owe!" She spat. "Even his preposterous severance fees. I'm not going to give him another cent." Her hands itched to touch her gun for comfort, but she didn't want to give the location of her weapon away.

"Y'see, ma'am, that's where you're wrong." Xigbar reached into one of his inner coat pockets and pulled out a packet of papers tied together with an elastic band. "I've got it all right here."

She took the package, pulling off the elastic and unfolding the papers to read the columns of numbers there. "What is this?"

"It's been gathering interest for 'bout a year now, ma'am. You probably should pay up."

She tied up the package again and flung the papers back at him. "I never borrowed this money. I told you, you have the wrong person."

"No, I'm really sure I don't." Xigbar unfolded the papers again, pointing out a name at the very bottom on the last sheet. "See? It's in your name."

"I'm telling you, I never borrowed a cent."

Xigbar rolled his eyes. Yeah, he'd heard that one before. "Got an ex-boyfriend, ma'am? Ex-girlfriend? Siblings? ..._Kids_?"

It took her a moment to absorb that phrase before she blanched, eyes darting to rest final figure on the page. In a flash her hand was on her gun and the barrel was pressed against Xigbar's belly button as she leaned in close to speak. "I suppose you're new, so I'll give you some useful information. Shinra business does not touch this house or this family. If you or any of your friends come here again I'm going to personally make sure that you and any others who come along will be taking a long nap."

Xigbar quirked the eyebrow above his patch, unfazed. "A pretty lady with a gun. She thinks I'll run." He laughed at his own half-baked rhyme.

She cocked back the hammer. "I mean it. Leave. Now."

"You won't kill me."

"You don't know that."

Xigbar grinned and gestured with a light head-jab. She looked backward to see her two little daughters peering around the corner from the kitchen.

Xigbar took advantage of her distraction, yanking her by the wrist that held her gun and kneeing her in the stomach. Still grasping her wrist, he used his superior size to throw her inside the house and wrestle her against a wall. He squeezed her wrist, hard, and she gasped as she dropped her gun. "My boss isn't the type who likes his goons to come back empty-handed, if y'know what I mean." He lowered his voice. "And you might be made of empty threats, but I'm not." He turned his head to wink at the two girls. "You can't be here twenty-four seven."

"Go back to your room!" She yelled at her daughters, who stared, wide-eyed. "NOW! Do it!" They scampered away and she turned back to face Xigbar in the eye.

"I'll write you a cheque."

"Don't make me laugh."

"I don't have any cash on me. I can give you my credit card."

"How stupid do you think I am? You'll cancel it as soon as I leave, if it isn't already crap. And I doubt your limit is anywhere near high enough."

"I can get you some money tomorrow."

"Not good enough. Demanding boss 'n' all that."

"...Fine. I keep my savings with a friend. You'll have to take me with you or you'll never find the money."

"Sounds dandy." Xigbar stepped on the gun before he backed away, releasing his hold. "Put on some shoes and let's go." He picked up her gun and stashed it away inside his jacket as she followed his orders, grabbing her jacket as well.

Xigbar shut the door behind her as they walked out the front, slinging his arm casually over her shoulder like they were a couple just because he was an asshole and he could. Before she could throw him off she was faced with the aforementioned son, standing stock-straight on the sidewalk outside the house. The boy didn't move as his mother and Xigbar passed him – Xigbar even reached out the hand not slung over the woman's shoulders and ruffled the kid's bushy hair with a blatantly offensive familiarity. "Spitting image of his dad, that kid. I'd recognize that hair anywhere. I guess he's like his dad in more ways than one!" Xigbar laughed heartily as the two walked down the street together, leaving Axel stunned on the sidewalk behind them.

Elena didn't bother throwing off Xigbar's arm. There really wasn't any point anymore.

xxx

Axel didn't remember much about his father. He had left when Axel's mother was still pregnant with Eiko, and Axel had been about eight years old at the time. Old enough to remember, certainly, but young enough that the details were incredibly distant.

He did remember that his father always smelled like cigarettes (though he never smoked near the house) and that he had a ragged ponytail. It had been so long since he'd seen his father's face that he couldn't really remember it (and his mother didn't keep pictures – or she hid them from him. He was never sure which), but he gathered that his dad would probably look somewhat like an older version of Axel himself.

Axel remembered being tickled, squeezed, and picked up and spun around, and very little else. His father hadn't stayed around the house a lot, but then neither had Elena. His parents had fought a lot near the end about things that Axel hadn't gotten at the time and now mostly didn't remember. He _did_ remember 'Uncle Rude', who sometimes came over and gave Axel candy bars and small toys. Axel thought he probably still had a couple of the little cars stashed away in the bottom of his closet somewhere with a bunch of other junk.

Axel wouldn't say he loved his father or anything – really, he barely remembered the guy at all – but he had missed him after he was gone. Uncle Rude stopped coming over, his mother was always in a bad mood and nothing good came of it at all.

Eventually Axel learned a few things and pieced together that Rude and his father had been 'special friends'. Elena hadn't taken it very well. After his parents had split, he couldn't remember Elena ever even dating another guy.

Not like it was his business or like he actually cared, but seeing his mother with some sketchy (not to mention butt-ugly) guy who looked to be about ten years younger than her and _what. The. Fuck._ Who the hell did that guy think he was?

Confused and pissed off, Axel eventually managed to gather his wits, walking to the front door and opening it to a decided lack of brat glomping.

"Eiko? Relm?" Axel called after he closed the door, leaning against the doorframe as he took off his shoes. He found the girls in their room, sitting on the floor, plastic unicorns clutched in their hands in what looked to be a half-finished game of 'ponyland' while whispering to each other as if their conversation were vital to the security of the city. "What's going on?" Usually they pounced on him the minute he walked through the door.

"There was a weird guy here with mom," Relm said.

Eiko nodded. "They were talking about grown-up stuff."

"What?" Axel demanded, kneeling down to their level. "What did they talk about?"

The girls looked at each other and then back at Axel in some form of silent communication. Relm spoke first. "They talked about some kind of Seff- seffalot?"

"And he showed mommy some paper," Eiko added.

"He was being reeeal nice to mom, smiling and everything," Relm said.

Eiko muffled a giggle under one hand. "And mommy told us to go back to our room."

Axel was beginning to feel slightly ill. "Okay." He pushed to his feet and left the girls' room without another word.

xxx

Tseng had put Xigbar on the job precisely because he didn't want to complicate matters (translation: he was a backstabbing asshole) by getting Reno involved. For safety's sake he had let Xigbar know of Elena's status as an ex-Turk, but Xigbar really hadn't absorbed what it meant. When Tseng had warned Xigbar that 'she can handle herself', well... Xigbar probably should have listened. Made soft by an easy victory, one moment of inattention had cost him his hold over Elena.

A black eye, an ache in his chest that was probably a fractured rib and a dislocated shoulder later (popping those back in always hurt like a bitch), Xigbar was pissed, sore, and a bit wiser for the wear. (He'd have to get patched up later – he didn't have time for that now and he'd just have to suck it up.) Shit, he was lucky to have escaped _alive. _

...Not that he was going to be put off so easily. Xigbar was under no illusions about the conditions of his employ; he was hired to do a job, and failing to do so would most likely result in missing ears at best, missing heads at worst, and he _really_ wasn't in the mood to have to skip town again.

The bill _had_ been in Elena's name, yes, but it was clear as crystal now that the one who had really done the borrowing was the young redhead. That did make things so deliciously complicated, but Xigbar was rather relieved that he could now deal with a skinny teenaged brat rather than his way-too-damn-competent mother.

Of course, there was absolutely no way that a kid who looked like he should be in highschool could ever pay off the kind of sum that that kid owed (what the hell had that redhead needed so much money for in the first place?!) - but desperate people did desperate things, and Xigbar was good at making people desperate.

xxx

Usually, when Roxas hung out with people it was either with Axel or the entire group (well, occasionally minus Marluxia, but nobody but Larxene gave a shit about him anyway). So it was rather unusual that day at lunchtime that Roxas was sitting on the grassy curb, feet scuffing at the dust of the street outside the school with Demyx – really, the only reason they weren't falling into lulls of silence was because Demyx was an incorrigible chatterbox.

"– and who's that creepy guy with the eyepatch leaning against the bus stop? He's totally staring at us." Demyx stopped to breathe and Roxas took that opportunity to cut in.

"He's not staring at us; don't be paranoid."

"I guess." And then came a characteristically Demyx abrupt change in subject. "Sooo, are you and Axel, like, going out?"

"You talk like a girl. Stop saying 'like'."

Demyx was unfazed. "Everybody says it. But seriously. Are you? It kinda seems like it, I gotta say."

Roxas sighed. "We're not 'going out' or anything, we're just fooling around. Happy now?"

Demyx looked disappointed. "...I guess."

Roxas didn't feel the need to reply to that, and their conversation was then conveniently interrupted by Axel bounding up to the duo, grinning like the maniac he was as he plopped down on the curb next to Roxas. Roxas opened his mouth to say something that might have been 'hi' and might have been 'why the fuck are you so happy', but was swiftly cut off by Axel's mouth on his as the new arrival greeted his friend in a rather enthusiastic manner. (At least Axel was getting better at kissing – Roxas was rather new to it, too, but had seemed to get the hang of it faster than Axel, who mostly kissed like a slobbery dog and didn't seem to get the concept of varying pressure.) Demyx watched the proceedings with an odd look on his face – if Roxas had been looking, he might have noticed that Demyx seemed a bit troubled.

When Axel released Roxas, still grinning, Roxas wiped his mouth with a sleeve and grimaced, knowing the skin around his lips was probably a telltale shade of red. Axel, oblivious, slung an arm around Roxas' shoulders. "So how's it going?" Axel beamed.

"You're in a good mood," Demyx commented.

"You bet," Axel said, leaning a bit into Roxas. "Guess who just passed the big English in-class essay that everyone was freaking out about? And get this –" He lowered his voice to a dramatic stage whisper – "I didn't even read the book! I can't _believe_ I managed to bullshit all of that."

"Congrats," Roxas said dryly. "Glad to know the school system works."

Axel scoffed. "Don't tell me you guys actually read the book."

Demyx grinned and leaned back to face his two friends, one leg on the grass and the other on the street as his weight rested on one arm. "What can I say? I've got a lot of time to kill at work. Might as well get paid to do homework." Demyx worked the night shift at the local all-night convenience store – it was a pretty sweet deal, he said, because he got a discount on sugar and could stay up all night without getting chewed out by his parents. "Why don't you get a job, Axel?"

A flash of something passed across Axel's face before he smothered it with a smirk. "Who wants to work? Then I couldn't hang out with Roxas." He nudged his friend, and Roxas answered with a non-commital grunt.

"Lazy bum." Demyx flopped back to lay his upper body on the grass, staring at the sky. "I'm so bored."

"We could do something," Roxas suggested. He noticed that the normally empty tennis court down by the field was occupied by a pair of players, amateurs by the looks of it. But they seemed to be having fun. "Like... tennis."

"Tennis killed the dinosaurs, Roxas!" Demyx shot up, pointing an accusatory finger at Roxas. "You you want to be a part of that shame?!"

Roxas was so thrown by Demyx's completely random and nonsensical statement that he didn't notice when the eyepatched figure that had been leaning against the bus stop abandoned his perch and walked towards the trio. Demyx nearly jumped a foot in the air when the man's hand clapped his shoulder. "Hey there."

"HOLY MOTHER –" Demyx freaked, springing to his feet and spinning around to face the stranger.

"Whoa, dude." Xigbar put his hands up defensively. "Relax. I just wanted to talk with your friend here." He winked at Axel and the color drained from the redhead's face.

"You know this guy, Axel?" Demyx asked Axel, bewildered.

"Yeah." Axel said, disengaging himself from Roxas and moving to his feet. Roxas, not wanting to be the only one on the ground, stood as well.

"So, vamoose, kid." Xigbar made flicking motions with his hands. "I need to talk to Axel here." He paused. "The short kid can stick around, though." Roxas bristled at being called short but decided not to make an issue of it.

Demyx was baffled but left anyway, wandering off down the field to who knows where. Perhaps to watch the tennis players kill dinosaurs.

"What do you want?" Axel turned on the older man as soon as Demyx was out of earshot. "You're banging my mom and suddenly you want to be buddies, is that it?"

Xigbar masked his surprise at the comment and decided to run with that idea. You never knew when that shit would come in handy. "Hey now, no need to be so mean. Your mother and me are... coworkers, and this sort of thing just happens." Xigbar shrugged and then winced a bit as the motion shot pain through his chest. He was going to have to get that taken care of.

"Get to the point." Axel spat, apparently not noticing Xigbar's little spasm. Roxas was completely lost in the situation.

"Got a firecracker in your pants, don't you?" Xigbar grinned, Axel's antagonism sliding off him like melting sea salt ice cream off a stick. "Well. Y'see, there's a little issue at work. Certain – transactions have yet to be completed, and it seems we're a little short on cash. So we decided we'd get a little help from our old friends, see – but your mother is such a caring, _kind _lady, and we didn't want to trouble her with it, so I was hoping you could help us out." Xigbar shot Axel a look that said clearly, _you know exactly what I mean, you little brat. Pay up. Now._

Axel turned a shade paler than he already was, making his brilliantly red hair seem something like bloody flesh stuck to a bone. It wasn't pretty. "Leave us alone, Roxas."

_What the fuck. _Roxas was totally confused, but if there was one thing he _did _get it was that there was more going on here than met the eye. "What?"

"I said _go._" Axel spoke more forcefully this time, but before Roxas could reply the scarred man grabbed Roxas' upper arm and yanked him away from Axel like a rag doll.

Roxas stumbled, struggling. "What the fuck?"

"I know you haven't got any collateral," Xigbar said, holding the struggling Roxas with little visible effort. "But we thought we'd do you a favour this time and find some for you, _just _because you're that special."

Axel's eyes darted back and forth between Xigbar and Roxas, torn between his desire to inflict serious injury to Xigbar (hopeless as it was, Axel couldn't know that) and the desire to not let Roxas in on more than he had to.

With his free hand, Xigbar reached into one of the outer pockets on his coat and pulled out a folded scrap of paper. "I want you to feel like you can call me at any time, kay?" He held out the paper for Axel, and when the boy didn't take it he let go of it, dropping it on the street. "Me and my new buddy here are gonna go for a ride. Get to know each other. You don't want to cut in on our private time, now, _do you_?"

Xigbar gave Axel a look that Axel had never seen the like of in his life. It was a look from world other than his, a scary world, an adult world where things were hard and freakish and men like Xigbar went in as fuck-knows-what and came out looking like they'd literally gone through a blender. Axel thought of all the 'bad' things he'd ever done – cutting class (_I only did it when I didn't need to be there, I'm still passing, I always passed –_), drinking or doing drugs (_I never did anything hard,_ he thought_, I never did shit like coke or even speed. Just a little weed, some E a few times at parties, maybe shrooms, dropped acid that one time –_), shoplifting enough to be banned from certain stores (_I never did it when Demyx was there, I wouldn't do that, he's friends we're _friends _just like Roxas is my friend, _friend_, boyfriend, maybe, maybe not oh I want oh shit I –_) , and it came crashing down on him that he was just a child. Just a freakish little child that was absolutely _terrified_ when a man, an _actual_ man and not just make-believe like Axel played at, with only one look reduced Axel to nothing, nobody.

"Call me." And with that final remark Xigbar yanked on Roxas' arm, hard, causing the boy to stumble, struggling to keep his feet as Xigbar strode down the street away from Axel.

"What the fuck are you –" Roxas' protests were cut off by a hand over his mouth. Roxas searched in vain for a teacher, an adult, anybody _why the fuck isn't someone watching me_ who could help but there was no one. Xigbar was hidden from view of the field by the corner of the school building and no one could see but Axel, _Axel_ who was just standing there, doing nothing.

Roxas continued to struggle in vain.

xxx

Elena had always been a woman of action. When she had been younger she had been the sort to jump into things without thinking it through – she didn't really need to think it through, not really – Tseng had covered that and Reno and Rude had covered her back. As she grew older she began to rely on habit and instinct, and her instincts were usually right. Sometimes, though, her habits failed her – there were times when instincts just didn't work and she had to sit down, clear her mind, put herself outside the situation and think about the problem at hand. This was one of those times.

Elena was terrible at this.

Whatever Axel had gotten himself into – _Axel, no, I left because I wanted you _out _of that world, away from all that, and Reno –_ Elena didn't know the details yet, but that was irrelevant. She would do whatever she could to plug him for details later – _and make him hate me more than he already does,_ the bitter part of her mind said. Right now she needed to _act._

It seemed that all avenues of action were blocked. Shinra knew where she lived, they knew what her children looked like – what could she do, just pack up all of a sudden and leave town? Even if she had had the money, even if she could afford to drop any of her jobs, she didn't want to do that to her children, _couldn't _just pick them up and skip town without any explanation. Axel deserved that much, at least... and that was only a temporary solution at best. Shinra would track her down, those kinds of things were always possible with enough money and Shinra had plenty of it.

There was no way she could possibly pay all of the money involved, either – not at the rate Shinra seemed to want it paid. So she was fucked. She couldn't pay, she couldn't escape... all she could do was run straight toward the serpent's jaws... and so she did.

Elena looked at the phone for a minute, considering all possible avenues of action, looking for a way out, _any _way out, but there was none. She picked up the phone and dialed the number quickly, running roughshod over her hesitation in an attempt to squelch her fears. It was a number she hadn't dialed for years, but one she would never forget – and she knew it would still be the same, no matter what else had changed.

xxx

Axel was sweating. He'd forgotten about class, forgotten even what class it was – he couldn't stand still and wait for the bus so he started running home, pushing himself harder than he ever had in gym class, stopping every few blocks to catch his breath, _fucking cigarettes, I told Roxas I'd quit, I'm gonna quit, I _swear _I'll quit if it makes me run faster_ – cursing himself every time he slowed or stopped.

When Axel finally panted his way to the doorstep he opened the door to an empty house, or a house he thought was empty, he figured his mother should be at work. He went straight to the washing machine, reaching up for the high shelf to grab a shoebox that he knew from the few times his mother had taken it down and opened it – she didn't want him to know about it, he knew that, but – he pulled it down and it was light, too light. He opened the box and there was nothing but tissue paper inside. He pulled out the tissue paper frantically even as he knew he wouldn't find it.

"Looking for something?" Elena appeared at the doorway, a handgun dangling from one finger. Axel froze. A few moments of mental panic later, he opened his mouth to speak.

"Don't," Elena hissed. "I don't even want to know what's going on." She was another woman now, something rough, something fearful and nothing that Axel knew – "I'm going to give you a set of instructions now and you're going to follow them." Axel didn't even nod, just continued to stand there, frozen – but his mother didn't seem to care. "You're going to go to the elementary school and pick up the girls. You will say it's for family reasons, nothing more." She handed him a slip of paper. "I even wrote you a note. Now. You will not take the girls home. You will take them to your friend Larxene's place and you will stay there until you receive further orders. _Am I understood?_"

Axel managed to force out a jerky nod.

"Good." It was then that Axel noticed his mother was fully dressed with jacket and shoes. She moved a bit closer to him and shoved the hand that held the gun in his face, grabbing his chin to force him to look at her as she did so. "You are a thousand years too young to ever touch one of these. If I ever find out you've so much as _thought _about using a gun, I will remove _this_" – she let go of his chin and grabbed his left hand, her thumb and pointer grasping her son's index finger – "and _this_" – she dropped his left and grabbed his right, repeating the same gesture – "and ensure that you will be _physically incapable _of firing it."

Axel didn't doubt her in the least.

She turned around and shortly afterwards Axel could hear the sound of a door slamming. After the sounds of her footsteps on the walkway had disappeared, he sank down to the floor, leaning against the washing machine as he wrapped his arms around his knees, his body shaking in spasms as raspy sobs were muffled into his jeans.

"Ro – Roxas... I'm – I'm such a –" he couldn't even finish off that once sentence, trailing off into more pathetic noises that he tried to stifle even with no one there to hear.

xxx

Everything was moving so fast that before Roxas could even figure out _what the fuck was going on_ he was wrestled into the front seat of a van and literally tied hand and foot. Metal loops that seemed to have been welded into the floor and the crack between the seat and backrest of the front seat purely for the purpose of tying people to became his new closest companions.

"Sorry 'bout this, kid," his captor said as the man double-checked the knots, making sure they were tight before he moved around the front of the car to plunk himself carelessly in the driver's seat, not bothering to do up his seatbelt as he slammed the door and started up the car. "But you have really shitty taste in boyfriends."

"He's not my boyfriend," Roxas snapped reflexively, not even thinking about the kind of situation he was in.

"Oh really?" Xigbar was amused. It seemed to Roxas that his captor was not above making small talk with his hostage as he drove. "Do you usually suck face with your 'just friends' then?"

Roxas' face turned red, but he converted his brief embarrassment into anger. It kept him sane. "We're just fucking."

Xigbar smirked. He knew how to read people better than that. The redhead was like an open book. "To you, maybe."

"Not maybe," Roxas didn't even register the implication in Xigbar's words. "You don't seem like a sex pervert, so if you're kidnapping me for – for ransom or whatever, you're not going to get a thing! Axel doesn't give a shit and neither he nor his family have any money anyway." Roxas threw together the story that made the most sense to him, but that didn't stop the fact that what was happening right now _still didn't make any goddamn sense._

"How do you know I'm not a pervert?" Xigbar ignored his captive's other comments. "I could be taking you home to my house full of kinky sex toys right now. You don't know it, but as soon as we get there I'm going to tie you up and rape you with a broom handle."

Even if he hadn't been tied up already in the front seat of Xigbar's van, Roxas, like most people, really didn't appreciate Xigbar's sense of humor. "Oh, fuck you."

"That's the plan," Xigbar said, barking out a sharp laugh as he turned a corner. He totally killed himself with his own wit, he really did.

Roxas may not have gotten Xigbar's jokes, but there was one thing he _did _get: he was fully, totally, massively, completely and _utterly_ fucked.

ooo

I really don't like being a review-whore, but I do appreciate it when you review! It only takes a moment of your time, and the sad fact is that many people judge fics by review count, and without your help this fic won't get any exposure, which makes me sad. ): I know I'm not a BNF with hundreds of reviews, so take pity on me? Please?


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